


It's Not Meant to End

by loggiepj



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Cancer, Depression, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:29:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 24,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28750734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loggiepj/pseuds/loggiepj
Summary: Nicole Haught, a Senior High school redhead, finds out that her cancer came back. Sooner or later, death will finally take her. That is why she is standing on the edge of the bridge in the middle of the night, leaning over the railings and taunting death. She does not intend to jump and kill herself.Waverly Earp, a Junior head cheerleader, thinks otherwise as she sees Nicole. She believes Nicole is suicidal and needs help. But Nicole does not believe Waverly can really save her.The more people Nicole lets in her life, the harder it is for her to let go.(Trigger warnings)
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 21
Kudos: 214





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have posted this story months ago on Wattpad. And I just decided to post my Wayhaught fanfics on Ao3 too. Sorry for all the grammar and other mistakes. I haven't edited this yet. And I'm also new to Ao3 so I'm still learning on how to format and stuff. :)
> 
> Enjoy reading! :)

_This must be what it feels like before dying. ___

____

____

Nicole's eyes were fixated on the vast space below her. She was leaning by the edge of Purgatory's own Timber bridge, with one arm gripping unto the railing behind her. Beyond her dirty Converse sneakers that she had worn for two years now, was the rushing stream of the river below. The reflection of the moon shone before Nicole, making a straight streak of light across the surface of the water. _That must be so deep. ___

____

____

The bridge was empty at the time, leaving Nicole on her own musings. Her eyelids drooped to close as she let the cold breeze blow past her face, making her red hair sway in all places. All she could see was darkness at this point as she listened through the deafening silence. A specific memory immediately flashed into her head, transporting herself back to what happened earlier that afternoon. 

Nicole was seated beside her mother, her round brown eyes staring at the large aquarium her doctor had in her clinic. The younger redhead was fascinated by the way guppies wave its tail.

Nicole's mother of forties with red locks and frock dress was talking to an older woman with the weirdest spectacles Nicole had ever seen.

"What do you mean that it sometimes happen to some patients?" Nicole recalled her mom asking for the second time. She had never heard her mother sound so exasperated before ever since she was still in grade school, when Nicole had her first chemotherapy. 

"I'm really sorry, Miss Haught... Sometimes, the treatment would work on some patients... Some cancers, particularly when treated in earlier stages, have low recurrence rates... Unfortunately, for your daughter's case, she began chemo when she had it on stage two. A recurrence can happen weeks, months or even years after the primary cancer was treated," the doctor calmly explained. She must have been trained to talk like that, Nicole thought. _Especially when she's always the bearer of bad news. ___

____

____

"But what can we do? What can we do about it?" Nicole's mother stuttered. She was trying her best to stay at her best behavior. Even though she knew her daughter could be taken from her at any moment. Nicole liked that about her mother. She used to defend the younger redhead when her Gym class instructor gave her a C minus for not showing up for one week.

"We can put her into another treatment... It has gained reputation for curing 37% of its users. But we can only undergo such procedure when the body has already relaxed from the last time. I believe your daughter had hers about 266 days ago... However unlikely, Miss Haught, there's still no reassurance that her body would not reject said treatment."

Nicole's mother only nodded. She hated how her mother and doctor were discussing as if she was not there. _Hey, I know I'm dying. At least, say that to my face. ___

____

____

At least, Nicole got to meet with her good old friend for the third time around. She had her first chemotherapy after her surgery. They had removed some polyps from Nicole's colon. The operation took most of the day but she was asleep all the time. She remembered waking up feeling all thirsty and hungry, with a numbing pain in her stomach. Then after a month, she had undergone a chemotherapy where she lost most of her hair for a year. She stopped going to school for that. Her second and latest treatment happened almost a year ago. Even though she didn't lose any hair during the process, Nicole's hands and toes darkened as if they had been buried deep in the snow and developed frostbite. It took her a lot of time to regain color. Wearing gloves even when the sun was out didn't help her from the bullies in her school.

"Whatever you're planning on doing, it's not worth it." The sweet angelic voice brought Nicole back to reality. Gripping the wooden railing tight behind her, the redhead turned her back to glance at the speaker.

With her luscious wavy brown hair and piercing hazel green eyes, Waverly Earp was the most beautiful girl Nicole had ever seen in her entire life, even when it was only going to be a short one. 

Being a famous junior head cheerleader in their school, Waverly was liked by everyone including Nicole. The redhead had been crushing on her since the brunette had stepped foot in their school. Waverly was the nicest person she had ever known. But the one thing Nicole hated about Waverly was her friends. Waverly had always been an accomplice to her royalty friends in the school. The group of friends that had bullied about Nicole's sexuality through the years. It started when Nicole had asked Shae out on a date and Champ, Waverly's boyfriend and also part of the royalty club, heard about it. Rumors started spreading like wildfire. Nicole hadn't had a chance to extinguish the flame, not much sooner than extinguishing Shae from her life.

"You can talk to me. I am here now. Please, talk to me," Waverly went on as she slowly stepped towards the redhead, bringing Nicole back to her senses. "You don't have to do this. You know someone out there loves you... Your parents... Your friends... They care about you.. I care about you... Please.. climb down."

Realizing her mistake, Nicole climbed over the railing back to the asphalt road where Waverly was standing five feet away.

"It's not what you think," Nicole hurriedly said, as she turned around and headed towards her bike.

"What I think? Nicole, you were going to kill yourself..."

"I am not," Nicole spat. "So, please leave me alone." Nicole was telling the truth. Jumping off from a bridge would be the last thing the redhead would do. She had never thought about what others would think anyway about her actions. Of course, that would be the first conclusion one could come up to when he/she sees someone on the edge of the bridge, clinging for dear life. 

Nicole thought she was alone. She thought she could get away with it. She never thought someone would notice her, much less someone she knew. 

The redhead had always wanted to climb on the edge of the bridge while clinging against the railing. She had always wanted to experience how close she was to dying yet it couldn't come sooner. It was like taunting death. _I know you'll get to have me, Death. But today's not the day. ___

____

____

Apart from that, it was also one of Nicole's bucket list that she had mindlessly wrote an hour ago. It was a normal reaction when someone suddenly came bearing one's longevity status.

Waverly followed her. "I am not letting you. What if you'll come back and hurt yourself again?" 

"Why do you even care?"

"At least, let me get you home," Waverly offered. Nicole's eyes darted to the red Jeep Wrangler she had parked on hazard behind them.

Nicole decided to ignore the brunette as she went to climb on her bike. As she was about to pedal away, warm little hands yanked her, making her lose balance and almost fell to the ground. "What the hell was that for?"

"Was this because of what Champ and Steph said about you yesterday?" Waverly asked. Nicole only glared at her. Right. The part where Champ and Stephanie called Nicole a dyke. It was partly Nicole's fault why they did what they did yesterday. Nicole was throwing dirty looks at them as she passed by their table in the school canteen.

"This has nothing to do with that or any of that," Nicole immediately answered. "Why do you care anyway? As far as I can remember, you laughed."

"I didn't laugh! In fact, I broke up with Champ. Although I already have my reasons before yesterday happened. But it triggered me to do so."

Nicole felt her heart lighten from the news but she shrugged it away. She shouldn't be feeling these things at all. Why do I care Waverly's single? She's straight and she would never look at me the same way I see her. 

"Well, congrats," Nicole scoffed as she climbed on her bike again. Then she pedaled away.

"Nicole, I meant it!" Waverly shouted after her. "You can always talk to me!"

_And besides, I'm already married to death. ___


	2. Chapter 2

"The Gardners are selling their house," Nicole's father, Nicholas, announced. Nicholas worked in the real estate industry. Nicole was always fond of her father's job. She used to go with him on long drives and open houses whenever she got the chance. She'd get to see different styles of houses. There was always a lot to tell about the person who used to live there depending on the style of their house. "They're moving away in a month or two, I heard Arthur accepted a job abroad."

"That's good news. They must be excited," her mother, Nancy, said. She was now wearing a different frock dress even when she's at home. Nancy was an accountant or she used to be. Now, she couldn't get herself not to stay at home ever since they found out Nicole's carrying something deadly inside her. Nicole felt sorry for her mother.

"It really is... A life outside Purgatory," Nicholas replied. Nicole focused on the phrase and wondered how amazing it would be to travel the world. _Something she'd never be able to do anymore. ___

____

____

"I don't know, Nicky," Nancy interrupted as she downed one sip of water. "I hear their boy has been having troubles leaving Purgatory."

"I can't say... They have practically lived here their entire life. Leaving would be very difficult."

Nicole began to wonder if that would also be her case. Would it be difficult for her parents if she left?

"You need to eat your greens," Nancy suddenly muttered. Her eyes darted to her fork that was playing with her food, absentmindedly stabbing the brussels sprouts. _As if the greens could get rid of her cancer._

____

__

As Nancy continued talking about what happened to the Gardner boy, Nicole's thoughts drifted away as she began remembering the short encounter she had with Waverly earlier that evening. 

Of course, the redhead shouldn't even be trusting the words coming out from Waverly's mouth. They had not been friends for years. They hadn't even talked to each other before. Even when Nicole's graduating months from now, she thought she'd never get to utter a single word to the brunette. And all because of the silly thing Nicole did that night, suddenly, Waverly wanted to talk to her.

One thing Nicole never needed was another friend to say goodbye to. She already had her only gay best friend Jeremy for that. Jeremy had already known her case since that time Nicole saw blood in the toilet, which meant that if she could be taken away, it wouldn't hurt Jeremy as much. Or so she thought. 

"So...," Nicholas slowly said. "I've talked to a cancer support group this afternoon-"

"Oh, is that the one organized by Sheriff Nedley himself?" Nancy asked, her face lit up. "Nicole, I think it would be a good idea."

"I don't want to," Nicole answered with finality in her voice.

Nicholas let out a soft chuckle as he added, "Your mom is right. You could get to meet friends and talk about stuff."

"Nicole, you've never been to one before. Who knows? Maybe you'd like it... I guess it's really time to-"

Nicole suddenly let go of her fork and snapped. "I don't want to go to any support group, okay? You do know that none of those things could help me, right? Words can't save me from dying-"

"Nicole!" Her mother shouted. "Don't you dare-"

"And what? Come on, I'm not a child anymore, Mom! I'm old enough to know what's the difference between living and dying. And I am dying. I have accepted that. And so should you!"

A tear strolled down her mother's cheek as Nicole stood. 

"You have no right to say those things, Nicole Haught!" Her father spat, his temper rising. "Apologize to your mother."

Nicole tried to calm. _Breathe in. Breathe out. _She couldn't break down, not in front of her parents anyway. "I'm sorry... Can I be excused?"__

____

____

Her mother nodded after a brief moment of painful silence. Then Nicole walked straight ahead into her bedroom. Nicole could sense it. Even her parents could sense it. Nicole's ending could not be stopped. All they could really do was prolong and savor everything before it's too late. 

~~~

Countless musicians' posters filled the wall of the redhead's bedroom. The beige painting could be barely seen anymore. Nicole's bedroom was any typical bedroom a teenager could have. Her bed was located beside the window and her laptop, books and comic books were situated across the bed. Nicole was a tidy person, she thought at first she had mild OCD.

The only thing that came up into Nicole's head the moment she slumped herself on her bed and stared at the ceiling was fear.

Nicole was scared. She couldn't help it. Dying was not really on Nicole's list to do. That's why she decided to go to surgery. She had a lot of things she still wants to accomplish in her life. 

And it's like the universe had not given that chance to her anymore. She never really remembered much when she first got diagnosed having Colorectal Cancer, also commonly known as Colon Cancer. At such a young age, her doctor had said. Nicole used to think it was sort of an achievement before, but when she saw her parents crying one late night they thought she was already asleep, Nicole then realized it wasn't at all. It was the start of the end. _Her end. ___

____

____

It had only started sinking in that she was really dying after that afternoon's consultation. _Life was indeed expensive, yet it was still cheating on you._

____

____

Nicole grabbed the journal she hid under the foam of her bed. She had listed down her bucket list after the consultation, an hour before she decided to bike towards Purgatory's only bridge in town. 

Nicole had seen the movie The Bucket List, and it felt like she had the right to her own list now that she's also heading there. Nicole didn't cry, of course. She couldn't get herself to. She didn't know why. Sure, the doctor's news shook the breath out of her, but that was it. That was how Nicole had accepted her fate. The treatment could save her. But it also couldn't. 

Nicole crossed out number one from her list. 

1\. Taunt death  
2\. Get drunk  
3\. Have sex  
4\. Go outside Purgatory  
5\. Make a significant change

Nicole realized that with the little time she knew she had left, doing the things she wanted to do like travel around the world or go skydiving was completely impossible on her case. She needed to settle on the real things that she thought would matter. _Things that could make her feel like she's still there with the living and she still had to live._

____

____

Nicole's phone suddenly chimed. She stared at the unknown number before opening the message. 

**Unknown: **_You can always talk to me, Nicole._****

****____ ** **

****____ ** **

Nicole immediately thought about Waverly and smiled. She could see how sincere the brunette was on helping her. 

But Nicole didn't need saving. She highly doubted Waverly could save her. She hardly believed anyone could save her at all.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hi!" 

Nicole turned her head towards the familiar sweet voice that greeted her. Waverly. 

Even though Nicole knew she was already dying, the brunette could still suck the life out from her. Waverly was just so breathtakingly beautiful and it would be stupid to deny that.

"Hey," Nicole managed to reply. Then she pushed her locker close and began to walk away. She knew what the brunette was up to, and the last thing the redhead needed was to add up more sins. Not that it would help her at some point once she's gone. But she still believed there's heaven and there's hell.

"So, I've talked to my friends...," Waverly began, as she walked beside the redhead. The smell of sweet vanilla infiltrated her nose. "And they promised they wouldn't bother you anymore as long as you wouldn't give them those I-am-gonna-kill-you looks-"

Nicole stopped on her tracks. "What? Why would you do that?"

Waverly smiled, the skin around her eyes creasing. It was a beautiful sight up close. "Like I said, I'm always here for you-"

"Waverly, you can't just meddle into someone's life like that. Now they probably think I'm suicidal when I am actually not," Nicole said. I don't want to die. Yet.

"Don't worry," Waverly whispered, leaning closer, the scent of vanilla getting stronger. "I didn't tell them anything about what you did last night. I promise."

"Look, Waverly...," Nicole stopped the brunette as she stepped back from her. "What you saw me do last night was not what you think I was doing-"

"And what? You just climb on bridges like that for pasttime?"

Nicole shouldn't explain anymore. She would never tell Waverly the truth. Because far too many who knew her condition, it would be far too difficult to let go.

Saved by the school bell, Nicole quickly dashed her way to her next class. It was now her goal to avoid the brunette.

~~~

"Tell me again.. Waverly? The Waverly Earp?" Jeremy asked for the third time, as if the first and second didn't register enough. They were in their school canteen, eating the bland food the school was serving. Today, they had chicken, a whole-grain roll and salad.

Jeremy Chetri had fair skin and black curls. He'd always wear his brown beanie to hide his hair. He always hated his hair. Jeremy was Nicole's best friend since grade school. They met at a school parking lot after Nicole found him kissing a boy from their Math class. Nicole knew then she could trust him with her sexuality and her condition.

"Yes, Jeremy, who else here is named Waverly?" Nicole answered, more than a whisper. The last thing she needed was for Waverly to know they have been talking about her. Nicole's eyes drifted towards the brunette's table. She was sitting with her friends. Cheerleaders, as apparent to the blue and white cheerleading uniform they were all wearing. Nicole couldn't help but feel strongly attracted on how sexy Waverly looked in her outfit. Her petite form and tanned muscular arms would always amaze the redhead to her innermost desires. Then their gazes met, and Nicole immediately looked down on her food. Beside her tray of food was the recently issued #1021 Detective Comics DC comic book Jeremy bought for her at Shorty's, a famed comic book store in Purgatory. 

"Do you know how stupid you are? Why would you climb on a bridge like that? What if you really fell? You could have drowned," Jeremy snapped Nicole back to reality. 

"I just... I don't know why... I just know I wasn't intending to kill myself," Nicole replied. Then she shared to Jeremy about yesterday's doctor appointment. 

Jeremy's face fell as he gave the redhead's hand a soft squeeze. "Oh, Nic... I thought... I don't-"

"Jeremy, you don't have to say anything else. My life has already made its plan, way ahead of me. And I'm just in for the ride, I guess."

Jeremy licked his lips nervously then he slurped his juicebox. Nicole could tell he was thinking.

"So... when's the next chemo?"

The redhead only shrugged. It was still funny how her body was not yet ready for the treatment yet her fate was already sealed.

~~~

Nicole was heading to her next class when out of nowhere, a boy as tall as the redhead with blonde hair and chiseled face, cornered her by the lockers. He was hugging a basketball around his right arm.

"What do you want, Champ?" Nicole sneered, clutching tight on her backpack. She was ready to fight. 

"I see you and Waverly are friends now," Champ said, sneaking odd glances from passersby.

Nicole furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "No, we're not... Did she say that?"

"Whatever, Haught. I just want to warn you. Whatever you have in mind, Waverly's not gonna like you that way. So you better stop your wild imagination and stay away from my girlfriend or else-"

"I thought you two broke up?"

Champ's face dropped immediately. "She's just confused. She didn't mean it..."

"Okay, but back on track. I wasn't pursuing her. In fact, you should be telling Waverly to stay away from me."

~~~

"I can give you a ride home," Waverly offered as Nicole headed for the school parking lot. The brunette had a way with her. Nicole admired that part of Waverly. She was persistent but she still managed to stay sweet and all. She was literally the nicest girl in Purgatory. She deserved a trophy for that, Nicole thought.

"No, thanks." Nicole passed by a group of jocks whispering and glaring at their direction. The redhead had now mastered the art of not giving a fuck.

"Just making sure-"

"That I won't do what you think I was doing yesterday? Waverly, I'm not suicidal. I'm far from being suicidal-"

Waverly sighed. "Nicole, being in denial is a symptom of depression-"

"Oh, god, I am not having this conversation right now," Nicole exclaimed as she continued to walk.

"Fine, then, do you want to go to tomorrow's dance with me instead?" Waverly asked. A small dance Purgatory High has set up before Valentine's Day.

Nicole only froze.


	4. Chapter 4

"You're kidding, right?" Nicole asked, her eyes widening on Waverly's proposal. She had never been this kind of shock before since her ex-girlfriend Shae had sent her a half naked picture to her phone.

"No, I'm not, do I look like I'm joking?" Waverly instantly replied. Nicole had no plans to go to a dance or to any dance at all. Hell, she didn't even attend her last junior prom, amidst Shae's protests. They had now reached the post where Nicole had locked her bike. 

"Wave," Nicole stopped the brunette. Forgetting she was only a stranger, Nicole immediately added, "Sorry, Waverly-"

"No, it's fine, you can call me that," Waverly said, smiling. Why does she have to look so beautiful?

"Okay... Look, you don't have to be nice to me just because you think I'm suicidal."

"How dare you? I'm trying to be a friend." _Right. A friend. ___

____

____

"Why now? Was it because I tried to kill myself-"

"Fudge, you're so infuriating," Waverly snapped. Then she deeply sighed as she calmed herself down. Nicole thought she'd walk out by now. But Waverly maintained her stance.

Nicole went to unlock the chains off her bike. "Did you know your boyfriend Champ basically ask me to stay away from you? Yet he doesn't believe me how you're the one who won't leave me?"

"He's not my boyfriend anymore... Wait? He did what?"

"Apparently, he doesn't think you two are over-"

"Look, don't believe anything he says. Champ and I are no longer together... Period," Waverly said. "So you don't have to worry about him. Go to the dance with me, please, Nicole Haught. I promise you'll enjoy the night. Chrissy will have a party at their house afterwards."

As Nicole climbed unto her bike, she couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. She had no choice. The brunette wouldn't just leave her alone. "Fine."

~~~

_For every wonderful thing someone gets to experience in the world, be it heard or seen or felt, there's always something bad that comes along with it. ___

____

____

Nicole thought about how beautiful and happy Waverly looked when the former said yes to the latter's invitation. Waverly's eyes creased as she smiled. The next thing Nicole knew, her intestines were gutting at full knot.

She didn't remember much about what happened after that. She recalled her father carrying her from the floor she passed out on towards the backseat of her mother's minivan. 

White ceilings and people in white uniforms greeted Nicole's eyes as she tried not to faint from the searing pain she could feel in her stomach. The last time she felt like this was right after surgery when the numbing drug stopped its work. 

Nicole was admitted in the hospital that night. And the night after that. When she got released on Sunday, Nicole doubted if her stomach no longer hurt or the painkillers she took were too much. It was just a false alarm, Nicole heard her doctor explain. But it was still an alarm nonetheless.

The next school days were a complete torture. Aside from Nicole's mom regularly checking up on her if she's feeling okay and the red hearts and cupids hanging on every part of the school, Nicole couldn't help but notice how Waverly was ignoring her.

It didn't help the fact that this was what Nicole really wanted in the first place. She didn't want to feel attached to the brunette when she's gonna disattach at some point. Not that it would matter anyway.

Nicole still had Jeremy. Jeremy was always there. But when she passed by Waverly in the school corridors and the sweet smell of vanilla wafted through her nose, Nicole couldn't deny missing the brunette's presence.

A taller girl with wavy brown hair sat beside Nicole one Physics class. It was Wynonna, Waverly's older sister. They had been classmates most of the senior classes but they were never friends.

"Haughtstuff," Wynonna suddenly muttered. Nicole was a bit surprise by the nickname. "Do you like my sister?"

Nicole dropped her pen unto the floor by surprise. "What?"

"Waverly," Wynonna replied, chewing a gum in her mouth. 

"I know who your sister is."

"Good. Then we don't have a problem anymore. Except that there is."

When the redhead only glared at Wynonna in confusion, the taller brunette went on, "You ditch her on the school dance. She waited for you all night. How could you say yes and lead her on?"

"Lead her on?? Wait. I thought she only invited me to the dance, not as her date-"

"Oh, silly Haughtpocket... Why are you always playing hard to get? Do you remember our sophomore's Valentine mail day?"

Nicole thought Wynonna was now veering off topic. "Wynonna, that's like a long time ago now-"

"I know," Wynonna spat. "Anyway, you received a letter from a freshman, declaring her crush on you." Nicole's mind drifted away as she tried to remember the little blue card she received on Valentine's day.

"Her? Wait, I thought it was from Bryce!"

Wynonna laughed. "Well, B-Train also had a crush on you before. But he used that excuse. It was from my sister, you dipshit."

"Waverly?" Nicole couldn't believe what she was hearing. She threw that letter, inadvertently thinking it was from Bryce. Maybe Nicole was still under drugs and her imaginations were coming to life. Imagining that Waverly liked her too.

"That's why I hated you after that.. and probably why Waverly avoided you from that day onwards and dated that awful Hardy boy," Wynonna continued. "Now, you broke her heart again by ditching her. I swear to God, Haught. I'd kill you if I could."

Nicole was about to reply that it would be of no use because she'd die anyway. But she stopped herself. Waverly liked her. Or used to have a crush on her. 

Nicole's eyes began to water when Wynonna left her seat. Why now? Why when everything seemed like it's going to crumble anytime soon? 

Nicole should have noticed it before. How Waverly's face would turn red when Nicole passed by her on the hallways. How Waverly would always be studying in the library when Nicole was reading her homework.

Nicole should have noticed her when she still had time.


	5. Chapter 5

Nicole went to sit in front of Waverly, ignoring the sneaky stares from the students in the library. Good thing the presence of a hunky basketball player was inexistent or Nicole would be in big trouble. A trouble she didn't ask for in the first place.

Waverly was hunched over a book that Nicole recognized as one of Harper Lee's works. The redhead had enjoyed reading that. Reading was like breathing to the redhead. But then of course reality set in and reading was in no way that could keep her alive.

"I love that book," Nicole said. "I love the ending."

"Don't you dare tell me the ending."

Nicole smiled from the sudden response. She didn't expect she'd get a reply from the brunette at all. 

"Waves, I'd never do that and spoil your fun," Nicole said.

"Then why aren't you at the dance last Friday?"

The redhead suddenly felt like the last response she gave apply to the current question the brunette has for her.

"I'm really sorry... Something came up," Nicole lied. Although she was really sorry. "My mom wanted me to go shopping with her and I lost track of time."

"Shopping? In the middle of the night?"

"Hey, there was an ongoing clearance sale, so... Now you know my mom." Nicole wasn't particularly lying about that part. Her mother was always fond of sales and anything that could save her just a little discount. Her mother had been particular on savings, knowing the inevitable would happen one day. _The inevitability of Nicole's death. ___

____

____

A small smile crept across Waverly's face, making Nicole forget about everything else. 

"Fine," Waverly sighed. Then she went to pull something from her backpack. It was a colorful flyer with two figures hugging printed on it. "I'd like to invite you to this support group on Saturday."

Nicole's mouth fell open, she thought she might draw flies. How could she convince Waverly she's not suicidal as she thinks? This had completely gotten way out of control. 

But the answer released from Nicole's throat was the complete opposite. "Sure, I'll be there."

The small smile from Waverly's face grew wider. Nicole would give everything to please her like that. Waverly's smile made Nicole think that not everything beautiful has to stop being beautiful even when she's dying.

~~~

"If you don't want to tell her about the truth," Jeremy said, mouth full of food. "At least, tell her something that would make her believe you weren't trying to kill yourself."

Nicole let out a sarcastic laugh. "And how would you suggest that? How can you explain why I'm seconds away from jumping off the bridge?"

After Jeremy had swallowed his food, he uttered, "Tell her it was only a prank."

"Prank? Even I don't believe it."

"It is! Tell her that you were dared to make it look like you were jumping until someone would stop you. And that someone only happens to be Waverly..."

"Jeremy, do you hear how stupid you sound right now?"

"Come on, it's completely plausible. Tell her you had it on tape."

"Shut it, okay?"

"Or maybe, you just want to spend time with Waverly, am I right? Ow!"

Nicole had kicked Jeremy on his leg under the table. "There's no need to get physical."

~~~

Nicole arrived at what seemed like an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere. There was a banner hanging lopsidedly at the front. "We Care About You" Suicide Support Group.

The redhead turned her back at it and cursed mentally. She shouldn't be here. She knew she shouldn't be here. It didn't feel right. She didn't want to die.

"Hey, there," someone with a deep voice spoke. Nicole looked and saw an adult with bald head and round black eyes. "I'm Xavier."

The man offered his hand for Nicole to shake. She took it, as if she could trust him already. Xavier looked decent and trustworthy, Nicole thought how uncommon it was to meet someone like him.

"I'm the speaker for the support group. You seem lost and hesitating. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I... Umm, Wave... Waverly invited me to come," the redhead stuttered.

"Oh, Nicole Haught, right? Yeah, she mentioned you were coming."

"She did?"

"Yeah, she's inside... Come," Xavier invited, holding the door for her. Nicole hesitated a bit. 

"She is?" As soon as Nicole entered the place that looked like a large function hall with chairs placed around like a circle and trays of food and beverages on one side, her eyes darted towards a beautiful smiling brunette, serving hot coffees to the participants. 

"Yeah, she volunteers here to help," Xavier answered. 

When hazel eyes met brown ones, Waverly smiled from ear to ear and waved at Nicole. Nicole smiled back. She suddenly felt something squirming inside her stomach. It was a different kind of squirm. It wasn't her cancer. It was butterflies.

~~~

"So, who would like to share first?" Xavier asked, his eyes full of concern glancing around the circle. Waverly was seated outside the circle and Nicole's eyes drifted towards her. "How about our newbie here?"

All turned their heads at Nicole. The redhead froze. Why of all people has to be her? 

Or maybe the people around her were already regulars. She immediately felt so guilty. She couldn't just tell them the truth like 'Hey, you know you're lucky enough you're not dying, right?'. It felt unfair. Everyone had their own demons they're fighting. Somehow, Nicole's demon already won.

Nicole swallowed a lump in her throat, her fingers fiddling nervously at the hem of her hoodie. "I... I don't... think I'm ready to share..."

Although she suspected an urge or persistence from the group, Nicole saw acceptance and care from their eyes.

"It's okay, Nicole," Xavier said. "Another time, maybe?"

Nicole slowly nodded. She looked towards Waverly and Waverly was smiling at her while giving a thumbs up. She could make out the words 'You're doing great' from the brunette's mouth. Fear and guilt immediately consumed the redhead.

"I want to share something," someone with a croaky voice spoke beside Nicole, bringing her back to reality. It was a skinny teenage boy wearing rimmed glasses.

"Yes, Tucker?" Xavier said.

The boy went on recounting his tales about his parents wanting to move and how he stopped himself from cutting his wrists. Then one girl in front of Nicole began sharing her story as well, on how she got overdosed over some painkillers. 

Nicole's eyes began to water. She didn't want to hear this. She didn't want to be a part of this. Not because she couldn't relate but because, no matter how selfish it would sound, Nicole never wanted to die in the first place. And there was nothing she could do. Nothing the support group could do to stop it.

Nicole abruptly stood, making everyone glance her way. "I'm sorry, I can't do this."

"Nicole," she heard Waverly called but she ignored it. Then she immediately headed outside.

The redhead tried to breathe as soon as she reached outside. Her lungs constricted as she leaned into the wall. _Was she having a panic attack? Why? ___

____

____

"Hey," Waverly's voice made her spin around. The next thing she knew, Nicole was embraced by Waverly's arms. She suddenly felt warm and safe, finally regaining her breathing. Nicole's heart, however, was beating thunderously inside her chest. "I'm sorry if I invited you here. Maybe you're not yet ready and I pushed you to-"

The brunette was crying. "Hey, Waves. It's okay... it's not... I'm fine now."

Waverly bit back another sob as she sniffled. "I thought I was helping..."

"You are, Waves. I was just... Yeah, I'm scared," Nicole admitted. 

"Can I... can I get you something to eat at least?"

"It's okay, Waves. I'm not really fond of-"

"No, not here, I mean somewhere, like a diner or a coffee shop," Waverly hurriedly suggested. 

"You still have to go back inside-"

"I'm sure Xavier would understand. Let me get my stuff. Wait for me here, please," Waverly said as she wiped her tears away from her cheeks. Nicole only nodded and prayed to God she wouldn't end up in hell for this. 

~~~

Nicole hadn't had chocolate milkshake for years now. It was part of her cancer diet. Now, she seemed like enjoying these kind of things matter more. 

The redhead stopped sipping when she saw Waverly's eyes smile at her. 

"Sorry, I..."

"You've never had chocolate milkshake before?" Waverly asked. 

"Don't be silly.. I was just thirsty," Nicole replied with a nervous chuckle. It was only then that she realized most of the customers in the diner were couples. Were they on a date now? That would be kind of ironic. She threw Waverly's letter almost three years ago.

"So how did you know Xavier?" Nicole began to converse as she took some overcooked fries from the plate before them.

"He's my sister Wynonna's boyfriend," Waverly replied, letting out a small smile on her face. "He's really amazing and sophisticated."

"Isn't he kind of old-"

"Kind of old for Wynonna to date?" Waverly softly chuckled, her pearly white teeth on display. "He's five years older than her... Wynonna's into matured men, I suppose..."

Nicole smiled. "Well, I guess you could use some pointers considering you used to date a boy-man."

Waverly shot her a glare but then a small smile crept unto her face. It was a wonderful sight.

Nicole watched Waverly sip from her drink as silence fell through them. The redhead couldn't stop feeling guilty yet she was kind of savoring the moment she had with the brunette. Even though it didn't feel right. _Nicole's dying. The least anyone could do for her was let her enjoy the little things._

____

____

"It was three years ago when our eldest sister shot herself with my father's revolver," Waverly's voice broke the silence. Her voice rang through Nicole's head. Eldest sister. Shot herself. Revolver. 

Nicole froze and stared her eyes at Waverly. She could tell the brunette was stopping herself from crying. "Our father was not really the most ideal father anyone could have. After mom's death, he... he's been nothing but a drunkard. That's why he kept on putting the pressure on Willa, which we now realized was already too much."

Nicole slid her hand through the table and squeezed Waverly's in hers. It was soft and warm. 

The brunette licked her lips nervously. "That's why I wanted to help in any way possible, those who have been in the same situation. I just... I felt so stupid... how I didn't know she was already hurting... And we didn't see it... I didn't do anything-"

"Hey, you couldn't have known..."

"I should have.... That's why... that's why when I saw you about to jump, I... I couldn't help myself..."

The guilt Nicole felt before seemed only like a small one-storey house. _Now it was a skyscraper._

____

____

"I'm sorry," Was all Nicole was able to say. 

Waverly's other hand went to hold Nicole back. "Hey, it's okay. Just remember please that I'm here... I'm always here for you, Nic."

Nicole stopped herself from crying. Waverly didn't deserve this. For sure, Nicole was dying but seeing Waverly hurt before her was much worse. _Not when feelings were starting to grow. Not when she had grown attached to the brunette. ___


	6. Chapter 6

"What are you doing?" Jeremy hissed behind Nicole, startling her from her position. The redhead was hiding behind a huge bookshelf of Classic Literature books in the library. She was waiting for Waverly, who was reading on a table near the entrance, to leave for her class. 

Nicole had been avoiding the brunette. Sure, she had replied to Waverly's text messages during the weekend. But feelings were starting to grow inside Nicole. It was plainly clear that the redhead might have fallen in love with the brunette. _Or nearly getting there. ___

____

____

If she kept on being with Waverly, Nicole would be in so much trouble. She had never given a thought as why this would matter anyway. But Waverly could still like her, remembering what Wynonna had revealed to her last week. Nicole knew it was already years ago but there's a possibility that things had stayed the same. _Only buried, but still there. ___

____

____

"I'm avoiding Waverly," Nicole whispered as she crouched to a seat on the tiled floor. 

"Why? What happened last Saturday?"

Nicole didn't know if she should tell Jeremy about what happened during the suicide support group session but she knew it was not her place to tell about Waverly's family. 

"I just feel so guilty, Jer... I mean it was really the real deal. People in the support group are hurting. I did not belong there..."

"Hey, you're hurting too, you know... Only in a different way..," Jeremy reasoned out.

"I just... I don't want to impose anymore... But Waves has invited me again for another session this weekend... And I said yes... Fuck, Jer, I think I'm going to hell for this..."

"Shut up, Nic... You're basically just on denial or something... Nic, you have it just as worse as them... You can't just possibly disregard that," Jeremy said, now sitting beside her.

Nicole sighed then she quickly admitted, "I think I like her, Jer."

Jeremy turned his head to look at Nicole in confusion. "Well, Waverly is likable-"

"No, I mean, like really like 'like' her..." Nicole's face had turned red.

"Oh, that's... that's fine, I guess... Not considering you've only spent the last Saturday together. I mean, I get that she used to be your crush or something... But I think you're forgetting the fact that she used to bully you-"

"She's friends with bullies, Jer... There's a diff-"

Jeremy interjected. "No, there's not... Nic, have you completely forgotten what she did last year? She let her friends make fun of your gloves. She didn't do anything... I think she was just being nice now because..."

Nicole waited for her friend to continue when he abruptly stopped. "I know what you were gonna say... Just say it..."

Jeremy licked her lips nervously. "Because, she saw you about to jump off the bridge and she's just feeling guilty and all."

That thought had crossed the redhead's mind. For sure, what happened with Waverly's eldest sister was another matter. But Nicole knew Waverly was just trying to be her friend because she was guilty, not only because of what she did with the bullying and things, but also because she had let her sister down by not being there for her. Waverly no longer liked Nicole, she was sure of that. _Waverly was just Waverly. It was just a crush. ___

____

____

Nicole sighed. "You're right... I... I don't know what to do anymore... Is she still there?"

Jeremy kneeled and glanced behind them. "Yep. You don't have classes now, right?"

"It starts in ten minutes," Nicole answered as she nodded. 

Jeremy leaned his back on the shelf and sighed deeply as they waited.

"Remember the blue Valentine card I received on our Sophomore year?" Nicole mindlessly asked, twirling her pen around her fingers.

Jeremy softly chuckled. "You mean that declaration from B-Train? How could I forget? You know he still has eyes for you..."

Nicole laughed. Then she stopped herself. "That wasn't from Bryce... It was from Waverly."

Her best friend's eyes widened in disbelief. "Who told you?"

"Wynonna."

"Well, that changes everything, Nic."

"What change?"

"Nicole, that just doesn't disappear.... I mean I used to have a crush on this guy, Robin, from our freshman gym class... And I saw him again last week and we talked for a while, but after he left, I felt so funny inside... Giddy... That's when I knew I still like him... I was just distracted for a while."

~~~

Waverly had finally left the library an hour ago so Nicole was able to go to her Physics class on time. Luckily enough for the redhead, their teacher failed to show up and their teacher's assistant handed them homework instead. 

As Nicole slid her books into her backpack, her eyes scanned around the classroom. Wynonna was on her phone, yet their eyes met and the former glared at her. Nicole immediately looked away and then her eyes caught something. It was her ex-girlfriend, Shae, and her classmate, Rosita, kissing. Rosita had dark curly hair and wore glasses. They immediately stopped making out when they noticed Nicole looking.

Nicole abrupty darted her eyes away but when she could hear footsteps nearing her seat as she zipped her backpack, she tensed a bit.

"How have you been, Nic?" Shae suddenly asked. Shae had a slender figure with fair skin and short black hair. She was taller than Nicole.

Nicole appeared like she was surprised Shae was there. "Hey, Shae... Yeah, I'm good... good... How about you?"

Shae smiled. "I'm great... Actually... You don't mind, do you?"

"What mind?"

"About me and Rosita? I mean, it was almost two years ago since you broke up with me so...." Nicole wasn't the one who broke up. It was a mutual decision. But she was the one who brought up the topic anyway. They had been girlfriends for one year and one month until Nicole felt like it was holding her back, just like what she felt towards Waverly. Also, Shae had no idea about her cancer. 

"Oh, that... Yeah, Shae... It's definitely okay... It's no problem... I'm glad that you've moved on..." Nicole hurriedly stood up, slumping her backpack around her.

"Are you okay? You seem so pale..."

"No, I'm fine, Shae. I gotta go."

As Nicole turned to leave the room, Wynonna passed by her, leaving words to the redhead. "Haughty, you really need to set your priorities straight."

~~~

"You're not avoiding me because of what happened last Saturday, right?" Waverly asked, taking a seat in front of Nicole and beside a surprised Jeremy. 

"Waves..." Nicole couldn't help but feel her throat dry out when Waverly's around. The brunette was just so painstakingly beautiful. 

"I know I've pushed you to go and you've also agreed to next weekend but you know you could just say no," Waverly added. "Nic, I'm not forcing you to if you're not yet ready to share your story."

Jeremy slurped his juicebox nervously.

"Waves... I'm sorry... I was not avoiding you. I was just busy... I-"

"Yeah, right... Hi, I'm Waverly." Waverly noticed Jeremy beside her. 

"Jeremy," Jeremy greeted back, chuckling as they shook hands. 

"Okay, then... I can't go this weekend," Nicole finally said. 

Waverly's eyes met hers, piercing. "Okay, that's fine... May I know why?"

"I... Waves... I'm not... I'm not really suicidal...," Nicole began, stuttering. Waverly's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She glanced at Jeremy and figuring out that that Jeremy knew, she answered. "It's okay, Nic. You don't have to prove it-"

"It's true," Jeremy suddenly blurted out. Both Nicole and Waverly glanced his way. Then Jeremy looked at Nicole for help as he went on, "It was a prank... Nicole wasn't going to kill herself... She was... just dared to lean unto the bridge..."

As Jeremy went on with his lie, Nicole realized how her best friend didn't know about Waverly's eldest sister. Nicole quickly shook her head to stop him. "Jer..."

"A prank?" Waverly's tone of voice had changed. 

"Yeah," Jeremy replied, ignoring Nicole. "She got it all on tape."

Waverly glared at Nicole as she stood and gathered her belongings with her. Nicole stood as well and grabbed the brunette's arm. 

"Wait, Waves, it wasn't what-"

Nicole received a hard hit on her face, so loud that all the students' heads turned their way. 

"Really, Nicole? I thought you were different," Waverly spat, as she yanked her arm away from Nicole's grasp. "Stay away from me."


	7. Chapter 7

It was raining cats and dogs one Thursday afternoon in Purgatory. Water level on some streets was already ankle-deep as Nicole biked her way heading home, soaked wet to the bone. Apparently, someone stole her umbrella that was sitting to dry outside their classroom during their morning class. She knew who the culprits were as she saw Champ and Steph use her umbrella as a baston dancing around the cafeteria during lunchtime.

Nicole pedaled away against the slippery road, thinking about how she's gonna get through high school now that her bullies were back. How ironic it was being a senior bullied by juniors. She shrugged the thought. She's not gonna even survive life, she didn't have to worry about her high school.

The thoughts of an angry Waverly crossed the redhead's mind again. She had never seen Waverly that mad before. Or maybe she hadn't just seen that part of Waverly before. Days ago, they were merely just strangers. 

Amidst Jeremy's never ending apologies, Nicole knew her best friend had really saved her a lot of deal. But she couldn't help but feel sorry towards the brunette. Nicole had stepped over the line of being honest only to be safe. 

At least Nicole didn't have to tell the truth. At least it wouldn't be hard to say goodbye to Waverly. If Nicole meant something to the brunette anyway. 

When Nicole finally arrived in their home, her mother's voice flowed from the basement, greeting her. Her mother was just probably looking for some scraps to sell to their neighbors. Antiques, as what Nancy would like to call them. 

The younger redhead hurriedly ran upstairs to her bedroom, two flights at a time. Letting her mother find out that she was bullied at school wouldn't help her case at all. Nicole was trying to keep her condition as a secret except to close friends. Her parents had respected that decision. Nicole would rather have an empty funeral than full of people who used to never care about her when she was still alive.

Once she was changed into some fresh dry clothes, Nicole pulled out her phone from her backpack then slumped on her bed. She stared at the last text message she got from Waverly last Sunday, saying she's at the market with her Aunt Gus, looking for corn seeds. The thought of Waverly doing farm work intrigued the redhead in a good way. She imagined Waverly, her hair tied in a ponytail, her nape slicked with sweat as she blew into the air, panting from all the farm chores. She'd still look beautiful just the same. 

Nicole missed the brunette, there's no need denying that. Of course, she had Jeremy who always kept on sending her links of memes from The Big Bang Theory series, especially Sheldon ones. But being with Waverly and talking to her was a lot different.

The redhead's thumb hovered over Waverly's mobile number. She wished she could say it was that easy. Control.

Nicole didn't have control. She wished she had when she pressed the dial button. She's just gonna say how sorry she was. 

The call connected and went on ringing for three seconds until it was dropped. Nicole straightened to a sit, slightly bewildered, as she dialed again. Once connected for a second, it was immediately dropped. So, Waverly is not accepting her calls. _Fair enough. ___

____

____

A knock on her ajar door brought Nicole back to reality. Nancy peeked her head through the gap.

"So, do you want tapioca pudding for dessert later or apple pie?" Nancy asked, smiling. She was wearing a polka dotted red frock dress that time. 

Nicole forced a smile as she replied. "Can I have both?"

Nancy only playfully glared at her. "How was school?"

Nicole only pursed her lips as she answered. "Okay, I guess..."

It was always the younger redhead's response to her parents. She wished she could just say everything to them, how she really was doing, how she was feeling and how unfair it was that she doesn't get to live that long. But Nicole grew up like this - not being vocal about feelings.

The one thing Nicole liked about her parents though, was that they'd just stare at each other and somehow they'd understand. 

~~~

Their Physics teacher Miss Shapiro put them in pairs during a seat work the following day. 

Unwillingly, Wynonna was paired with the redhead. It was an obvious pairing. No one would really want to be paired with Nicole except Shae. Now that Shae and Rosita were dating, Nicole was practically a loner in class. Wynonna on the other hand was just Wynonna. As she took a seat beside Nicole, Wynonna immediately said. "I thought you have changed for the good, Haughtstuff."

Nicolen only scoffed at her, opening the book on the indicated page. "What did Waverly tell you this time?"

"Nothing... She's just being worse at home... She looks like she wants to kill someone..."

The teacher had already gone back to her table as the class began to work. Nicole licked her lips nervously, writing the answer to the first five questions without waiting for Wynonna. Wynonna had not been cooperative.

"What did you do again?" Wynonna went on, doodling drawing on her notebook. "I have never seen her act so strange ever since that last time you threw her letter."

"Okay, I was sorry...," Nicole sighed, stopping her hand from writing. "If I had known it was from her, then I would have kept it and asked her out..."

"Less talking," Miss Shapiro warned the two. Silence immediately fell through them as they continued on their seat work. 

"Why did you break up with Shae?" Wynonna broke the silence after a brief moment when Miss Shapiro walked outside the room. 

Nicole whispered back, "That's none of your concern."

"Well, it is. Shae didn't exactly share what caused-"

"You asked her?" Nicole hissed.

"Well, if you want to date my sister then I gotta know what she's getting into..."

"You've got to be kidding me..."

"I'm not, Haughty. I am watching you though..."

Miss Shapiro shushed them out again as soon as she entered the classroom. Nicole went to work through silently, ignoring Wynonna's sudden interruptions. She answered the questions Wynonna had no interest on answering. They got an A on the paper afterwards, which surprised the taller brunette because she hadn't had an A ever in her life.

Which was why it led Wynonna to invite the redhead to a party later that night at the Homestead. The Earp Homestead. A famed place on the edge of the town where the Earps lived.

"Is this a joke?" Nicole asked as she shoved her books into her back pack. Wynonna was now standing with her sling bag on her shoulder. 

"Why do you say that?"

"Ummm, for the fact that you hate me?"

"Mmm, fair point..." Wynonna only muttered as she headed towards the door. "But you did help me get an A. Plus, I've invited all the seniors... Even Jeremy..."

"What about your dad? Is it okay for him to have a party at your house?"

Wynonna turned her head around and stared at Nicole in confusion. "Our father does not live with us anymore... He left a year ago... We now live with our aunt and uncle, but today, they're away for a business trip. So I have the house free from guardians... Don't worry, Haughtstuff. There will be booze."

Nicole wondered why Waverly hadn't shared that part about their father. Nevertheless, she wasn't even a friend to the brunette. 

~~~

"Are you sure my outfit is fine?" Jeremy nervously asked as they made their way into the Homestead. It was filled with a lot of senior students Nicole knew and some students she didn't.

"Yeah, Jeremy, stop worrying about it," Nicole answered, grabbing a cup of beer along the way. 

As she drank the cup and the taste of cheap beer flowed through her, Nicole couldn't avoid hearing an argument at the balcony. Her eyes darted towards the noise and found Waverly arguing with Wynonna. As they finished, Nicole received a hard glare from the shorter brunette in pajamas before she turned and walked away.

"Haughtdamn! You really came!" Wynonna shouted as she climbed down the stairs. "And Chetri, welcome as well!"

Nicole didn't see Waverly all night long, maybe because it was her older sister's party. Jeremy had located Robin and they began talking about College applications in the living room. 

The redhead tried to be interested on the different kinds of chips Wynonna was serving by the coffee table, avoiding the subject. She never submitted any application to any College at all. Her parents had talked about it. Nicole's chemotherapy would surely weaken her and probably she'd take a year off for rest before actually heading to college. _Considering she'd survive of course. ___

____

____

The redhead slowly stood from the couch, hoping the pair wouldn't notice. She took another cup of beer. The fifth one she had now. She was getting drunk. That was the plan. Part of her silly bucket list. She looked around the place where a bunch of people were talking on one corner and some making out by the dining room. Her eyes then drifted towards the photos displayed on the fireplace.

Nicole walked closer and picked a colorful frame where she saw three little girls with their parents. Waverly was still probably three years old in the picture wearing an angel costume, looking all too adorable. A small smile crept unto Nicole's face. Then her eyes drifted to a taller girl, the one next to Wynonna. Willa. Guilt washed over the redhead's face as she stared at the picture. Then her eyes drifted to another frame beside an old stereo. She took it for a better look. The girls on the picture were now taller and older than they were on the first frame. Nicole guessed it could only be taken a few years ago.

Willa striked Nicole as somewhat cheerful on the outside but was hiding something deadly inside. _Like herself. ___

____

____

"That was a month before she took out her life," Waverly's voice slurred behind Nicole, startling the redhead. Nicole immediately placed the frame back to the shelf.

"I'm sorry," Nicole quickly uttered. As she looked at Waverly, Nicole noticed the brunette was holding a bottle of Whiskey in her hand.

The redhead began to worry. "Are you sure you're even allowed to drink that?"

"Oh, please... This is like water to me..." Waverly then left Nicole as she headed back the staircase. Nicole sucked up the courage to apologize. She followed the brunette. 

"Waves, can I talk to you?" Nicole asked, hoping the alcohol in her system would not betray her. Waverly didn't stop walking as she took a step on the stairs. "I didn't mean it to get out of hand... I tried so many times to explain it to you that I wasn't trying to kill myself, but then you were so persistent and then you told me about your sister, and I chickened out, okay? I'm sorry..."

They were now at the balcony when Waverly stopped on her tracks and turned to face Nicole. Then the brunette's hazel eyes met hers as the former asked, "Are you a Whiskey kind of girl, Nic?"

Nicole's eyes widened in confusion. "What?"

~~~

A knock on the door woke Nicole with a start. The sweet smell of vanilla all over her infiltrated her nostrils. Her body sensed something soft and warm near her. She felt like getting up but she felt too tired. Her head banging inside did not help her.

"Babygirl! Do you want pancakes for breakfast or waffles?!" Nicole recognized the voice as Wynonna's. Why is Wynonna at my house? And who is babygirl?

Nicole felt something shifted beside her and then she heard her curse.

"Shit!"

The redhead then opened her eyes wider because of the noise. It suddenly dawned on her that she wasn't in her house at the moment. Nicole felt two little warm hands shook her back.

"Nicole, wake up... Nicole," Waverly hissed in a whisper. Nicole slowly straightened up, her head ringing louder as she looked at Waverly in a daze. 

Waverly was naked, her tanned petite figure glowing before her. Nicole was now wide awake as she found herself staring at the brunette getting into her clothes in a haste. Nicole's eyes then pulled from the wonderful sight as she peeked through her blanket. The redhead finally confirmed they had a late rendezvous last night. She was brought back to her senses when shirt and pants were thrown her way.

"Babygirl!" Wynonna's voice came again, and the locked doorknob was being turned.

"Pancakes, Wynonna!" Waverly squeaked angrily. 

"Jeez, okay! No need to be hotheaded!" Nicole heard retreating steps outside the door.

"Get dressed please," Waverly pleaded. Nicole hurriedly did so, now trying not to remember what happened between them.

As she managed to button up her pants, Nicole then looked at Waverly. The brunette's face was all red and her neck redder with obvious red spots where mouth would land. Nicole's eyes widened. 

"Can you... can you get out through the window?" Waverly hesitantly asked.

"What?"


	8. Chapter 8

Nicole was grounded for a week. Apart from worrying her parents for not getting home, Nicole had also been drinking. They were pointing out that just because she's sick did not mean that she could get to do those things without their permission. Not that it would matter anyway. The younger redhead only learned to let it go. _Being an only child helped her of that. ___

____

____

As she lay down tired on her bed, Nicole's mind drifted to the events that happened the night before. Memories becoming more and more vivid as she looked through. 

~~~

"Wow, that's..." Nicole swallowed a shot of Whiskey down her throat. The liquid warmed her chest. 

"First time, huh?" Waverly eyed her as she took the shot glass from Nicole. "I really doubt it had taken you 'til senior year to have yourself a shot of Whiskey."

The redhead laughed and replied, "Well, I've never been this drunk before, so you have that."

Nicole and Waverly were in the latter's bedroom, sprawled on the wooden floor cross legged. The brunette's bedroom wall was painted pastel pink and there were a lot of boyband posters posted around. On one corner, there's an altar of trophies from cheerleading and a lot of medals and ribbons Waverly had received since kindergarten. She even had a sash saying "Nicest Person in Purgatory" hanging around a mini-sized Teddy Bear. 

"Mm, yep, you strike me as someone geeky," Waverly went on as she gulped down another shot. 

"Really? Why do you say so?" Their toes were now touching and it sent amazing vibrations towards Nicole's core. 

"I dunno... You're always in the library, sometimes reading academic books, sometimes comic books when Jeremy's around... you wear printed shirts with Bazinga! on it. I don't even know what band that is. And Wynonna told me you always ace all your exams," Waverly explained, pouring another shot. 

Nicole widened her eyes in surprise. She didn't know Waverly noticed her like that. _So is Nicole still Waverly's crush?_

____

____

The redhead leaned her elbow on both sides as she looked at the brunette. "Reading comic books does not make you a geek at all. Bazinga! is not a band.. It's Sheldon's expression on a famous tv series The Big Bang Theory and it's super cool, I'm surprised you haven't seen it... And I don't always ace our exams. I once got a B+ one time... You, on the other hand, are always the top of junior class as what I've heard..."

Nicole thought she saw Waverly blush for a moment as their eyes stared at each other. The brunette immediately looked down as she let out fits of giggles. "I have to... So I can get a scholarship after high school... Wynonna's not really much into College... and I don't really want her to think that she had to work while I leave for that..."

"I'm sure Wynonna would be proud, Waves," Nicole said. "I think she's really proud of you right now. You're also head cheerleader... I mean total cliche, really... but true... Beauty and brains. Although, to think of it, they're not entirely exclusive."

Waverly was fully red, probably because of the drink, Nicole thought. She shoved another shot into her mouth before she replied. "Stop it, the school just had no other choice. My best friend Chrissy is better than me... I bet she'd be voted as one when Steph wasn't in the team. Steph hates Chrissy-"

"Chrissy as in the Sheriff's daughter?" Nicole asked, trying to straighten up. 

"Yep, they had some disagreements with Steph about who gets to date Perry, a boy from our Chemistry class," Waverly went on, emptying the last drop of Whiskey into the glass. She offered it to Nicole but Nicole only shook her head. 

"My head's buzzing already," Nicole admitted, smiling. "And what about you? Don't you interest yourself with other boys? Now that you've broken up with Champ, I mean."

Waverly swallowed the shot and gasped. "I don't know... After the breakup, it's like my eyes are opening for the first time, finally seeing the truth, the reality... I can finally tell how true this person is and how full of shit this other person is... And I couldn't believe my old self how I became friends with these kinds of people."

"Mm, yeah, I get your point," Nicole said, sighing. Then she stretched her legs and lay down on the floor, her eyes at the pink ceiling above. "But you still stayed right?"

Waverly deeply sighed. "Yeah, I had no choice. I'd be alone with them. But sometimes, no not just sometimes, most of the times, it gets difficult when they're around me. They're like controlling me, what to think, what to do and what to say..." Then the brunette shifted then lay down beside Nicole, their elbows almost touching. 

"You have a choice, you know. You always have a choice. For me, I think that you're better off without friends than be friends with them," Nicole said, closing her eyes. "You deserve so much more, Waves. You just don't see it."

Silence fell right through them, she thought Waverly had gone to sleep. Nicole opened her eyes and glanced at the brunette staring back at her. 

"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong-"

Soft warm lips enveloped Nicole's. It surprised the redhead how much she had wanted this to happen for so long. Waverly pulled away quickly and looked at Nicole in shock. "I'm sorry-"

Nicole leaned forward and kissed the brunette, cutting her off. She didn't want this to stop even when her head was already spinning around her. 

Waverly's hand went to cup Nicole's face as their kiss deepened. The redhead's tongue demanded entry and the brunette let her swirl in, tasting the sweetness of their desires. 

Not long after, gaps were closed as bodies pressed against each other, sending warmth throughout. Waverly was now straddling the redhead's thigh, and as their thighs met each other's centers, they both released a soft whimper. 

Nicole's head had stopped functioning. The brunette began to slowly grind herself against the redhead as mouths continued to lap at each other, tongues fought for dominance and hands caressed every part of skin accessible.

Waverly's hand ended up under Nicole's shirt, grazing on the scar around her stomach. Waverly asked in between kisses, "What's this?"

And Nicole managed to mumble back. "Just a small surgery I had when I was a kid." I have to lie. 

The sound of a bottle breaking downstairs brought them back from their haze. Nicole and Waverly pulled away from the kiss and their eyes stared at each other, searching for something unknown. 

The redhead knew she was drunk. Even the brunette was too. Hell, she could still taste the liquor from Waverly's mouth. 

"I...," Nicole broke the silence, her heart beating like mad inside her chest. "I'm sorry about the letter...."

Waverly's eyes furrowed in confusion. "What letter?"

"Three years ago. Your freshman year. I received a blue valentines letter from the school mail team..."

Waverly gulped nervously and licked her lips, her hand still on Nicole's chest. The redhead went on, "I read it... and Bryce... Bryce came and asked if I liked what he wrote... I thought it was from him, Waves... I should have known..."

"That doesn't matter now, Nicole," Waverly said, huffing as she straightened up. Disappointment filled Nicole from the loss of contact. "It was a long time ago. That doesn't change anything, you know... you admitting doesn't change the fact that everything's different now..."

Nicole slowly registered what the brunette meant and she felt her heart shatter to pieces. _Okay. Maybe I just overthink a lot. Waverly doesn't like me anymore. ___

____

____

Waverly stood up with a slight sway. Nicole straightened up to sit, realizing she completely made a fool out of herself. "Waves, I'm sorry..." 

The redhead struggled to stand up. When she did, Nicole noticed Waverly heading towards the door. She thought she'd storm off and leave the redhead, however, the sound of the doorknob clicking lock and chains clanking made the redhead confuse. She stared at Waverly's back, immobile as if waiting for something. 

Nicole slowly walked towards her, her hands reaching for the brunette. "Waves..."

Waverly slowly turned around as she grabbed Nicole's head closer to hers, slamming her mouth against the redhead's. Nicole kissed her back, pinning the brunette against the door, their bodies pressed close against each other. 

"Nicole," Waverly moaned when Nicole's mouth left hers and travelled to suck that part of her neck just below her earlobe. Hands clutched tighter unto the redhead's hair as Nicole continued her assault. "Touch me, please..."

Nicole pulled away immediately as she stared Waverly straight into the eyes, panting. Waverly's hand grabbed Nicole's and placed it between her legs. The redhead's pupils darkened as she realized how soaking wet the brunette was. 

The redhead didn't need to be told twice as she slipped her hand inside Waverly's pajama bottoms. Her fingers grazed unto some trimmed curls and then her breath knotted up a hitch as she finally felt the dripping warm part of Waverly. The brunette whimpered and thrusted her hips forward towards Nicole, hungry for her touch. Nicole smirked from the response. 

The redhead's finger teasingly rubbed her clit in circles, earning a louder moan from the brunette this time. "Nicole..."

Waverly's fingers dug unto Nicole's back as the latter's digits slid slowly into her wet entrance. Nicole shut down Waverly's intensifying moans by kissing her mouth. Muffled moans filled the entire room as Nicole thrusted into Waverly, desiring for her to reach her high.

Waverly becoming undone, squirming against her and screaming into their kiss, was the most wonderful thing Nicole had ever experienced. Mouths never broke contact as they both proceeded towards Waverly's bed, all the while Waverly's fingers fiddled Nicole's belt. _It was a long night, for sure. ___


	9. Chapter 9

_One night stand. Nothing but a one night stand._

____

____

That was what Nicole was instilling in her mind as she focused on eating her lunch food. Her eyes darted to the table where Waverly and her friends were seated. The brunette still had not replied to the redhead's incessant text messages and from the cold shoulder Waverly was giving the redhead as they passed by along the corridors, Nicole could tell that Waverly was definitely ignoring her. _Yet again._

____

____

Nicole should be happy about it. It'd be difficult to be in a relationship knowing she wouldn't be there for long with her condition. But the redhead had started to feel something for Waverly. Something indescribable but good. And it had intensified during the weekend. Full of longing and desire for the brunette that if Nicole couldn't control herself, she'd grab the former and kiss her. 

Her thought drifted away when she heard Jeremy chuckling in front of her while he was fumbling on his phone. His grin was so wide from ear to ear that Nicole's curiosity got the best out of her. 

"What's so funny?" Nicole expected it to be another hilarious meme. 

Jeremy happily placed his phone on the table and looked at the redhead, his eyes vibrant. "Well, while you were gone most of the party last Saturday... Robin and I grew a lot closer that I finally had the courage to ask him out on a date this weekend. I thought he wouldn't say yes but I was wrong."

"Wow, Jer, I'm so happy for you." Nicole really was. 

Jeremy shrugged his shoulders as he went on nervously. "What's the point of it anyway? Robin mentioned he has submitted applications to Boston University for college. I, myself, knew my heart is already set out for Alberta. This thing, whatever this is, between me and Robin won't work out."

Nicole could see that Jeremy had thought about it a lot. Similar to hers about Waverly and about Nicole leaving the living. 

"Who knows? Maybe you both will figure it out how to make it work."

"I hope so."

~~~

Fate was indeed cruel to Nicole for Miss Shapiro had paired her with Wynonna again for another school project. Which was why Nicole was sitting on a chair by the porch of the Earp Homestead, trying to perfect a miniature homemade hovercraft. 

Wynonna was not helping at all but Nicole didn't mind. The redhead got to meet their Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis and they were really amazing and hospitable. Nicole also really liked Gus' baked pastries and carrot juice. 

When Waverly came home that afternoon, Nicole received a full glare from the brunette as she climbed down from her red Jeep Wrangler. 

"What are you doing here?" Waverly spat, her nostrils flaring, as she stepped on the porch. 

Before Nicole could open her mouth to reply, Wynonna butted in. "Babygirl! Haught and I are just doing a school project. How was school?"

Waverly only scoffed and entered the household without replying to Wynonna. 

"It was great, Wynonna... How about you?" Wynonna mimicked Waverly's voice. Nicole couldn't help but smile. "See, I told you what she's like at home..."

Nicole tried to focus as she connected two blowdryer fans together but her mind was still intrigued. "I told her about the letter-"

"You told her what?"

Nicole glanced up at Wynonna. "Just to apologize because it was really a mistake on my part-"

"Haughtdamn! You realize that you telling Waverly means I have violated my sister's trust on her secrets?!"

Nicole only then realized what she has done. "I'm sorry... I was drunk... and I was really-"

"This happened last Saturday?"

"Yep..."

"That explains why she's always giving me a hard time," Wynonna said, now relaxing a bit. "What did she say?"

Nicole sighed. "She said it doesn't matter anymore. I mean, my apology won't change a thing between us.."

Wynonna fell silent after that, which gave Nicole more time to finish their project by dusk. When she was about to climb over her bike and head home, Nicole was stopped by Gus and invited her for supper first. 

The redhead had no choice but to say yes to the invitation. Gus was really persistent. No wonder where Waverly had gotten that wonderful trait. 

As Nicole slowly headed towards their dining table inside, Waverly suddenly grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the living room. Her hazel eyes pierced at hers as she hissed in a whisper, "Did you tell Wynonna or Jeremy about what happened last Saturday?"

Nicole immediately shook her head no. "Of course, I didn't-"

"You better not be telling a soul about it. It shouldn't have happened," Waverly said with finality and she turned and walked away before Nicole had the chance to retort. The redhead felt like crying. It shouldn't have happened. Waverly was right. 

As she made her way to sit beside Wynonna on the table, Nicole avoided Waverly's gaze. She shouldn't be affected at all. Of course, it wouldn't mean a single thing to the brunette. They were both drunk and lonely. _A one night stand. ___

____

____

"So, Nicole...," Gus began after they started eating beef casserole for five minutes. "What Colleges or Universities have you applied to?"

Nicole swallowed a lump in her throat. She didn't expect a dinner with the family would place her on a hot seat. Luckily, Wynonna answered for her. "Well, Haughtstuff here probably has offers from a lot of Colleges."

The redhead laughed nervously, shaking her head no. Then Curtis added playfully, "How about you, Wy? I suspect you haven't submitted yours, huh?"

"Oh come on, you know College is not definitely my thing," Wynonna admitted. Then she pointed at Waverly with her fork. "Waverly, on the other hand, cannot wait to graduate and go to college."

Waverly shot her a glance of disdain as she ate, ignoring the small chuckles that ensued. At least they have forgotten about how Nicole had not yet responded to Gus' question and they now went on talking about the farm business they had. Waverly was providing inputs from time to time, how hiring a farmhand would definitely help her aunt and uncle. 

As Nicole stared at the people around her, laughing and talking through dinner, what she saw was not the past they used to have. Nicole saw something promising. She saw a perfect happy family. And a smile grew on her face. 

After the supper had ended, Gus nonchalantly offered to the redhead," Waverly, why don't you give Nicole here a ride home? Riding the bike in the middle of the night would be dangerous."

"What? No!" The shorter brunette immediately protested. "Why can't Wynonna do it?"

"Because I ask you to," Gus answered firmly. "And Wynonna's taking care of the dishes."

Wynonna smiled and saluted to a fuming Waverly. Nicole intervened, "It's not really necessary. I can get home fine."

"Oh, we insist, Nicole," Gus said then she looked at Waverly. "Waverly, please."

"Fine," Waverly sighed as she headed to the porch. 

"Thanks for a wonderful evening," Nicole bowed to the couple. 

"Oh, this silly kid. Thanks for coming by."

~~~

The ride home was silent. Nicole couldn't stop stealing glances at the brunette. She hadn't been near Waverly for this long since that night they spent together. 

When they reached the center of the town, Nicole finally broke the silence. "I really enjoyed dinner. Your Aunt and Uncle seem like good people."

Waverly rolled her eyes. "You don't have to be nice." This earned a scowl from the redhead. 

"I am not trying to be... I mean my parents and I usually don't agree to fun conversations during dinners." _It's true. Lately, ever since the bad news._

____

____

"They're just trying to be happy when there's a stranger around," Waverly said, her eyes still on the road. "But when nobody new is around, we're just the same sad troubled people trying to be happy and live a normal life." _Right. Nicole was the stranger. That hurt a bit but she knew it was true. She is a nobody to the Earps. And nobody she shall settle._

____

____

Nicole replied. "Sometimes, I think it's unfair-"

"Well, depression doesn't discriminate," Waverly interrupted. 

"I know, but it's just that there are times to be happy and there are times to be sad. And maybe people should focus more on the happy things just to get through-"

Waverly suddenly stopped the car beside a convenience store. "Why are we stopping?"

"Out," Waverly ordered, her voice rising. 

Nicole tried not to look bewildered. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Just go home and leave me alone, Nicole," Waverly said. "Leave us alone." _I will though. In time._

____

____

"I'm sorry if I've said something wrong, Waves. I wasn't trying to prove a point. I was just stating something to help in a way I can. I mean, I know what happened in your past was completely unfair. But we can't change that anymore. We can't do anything about it. You can just move forward and choose to be happy-"

"Out!" Waverly shouted, her grip on the steering wheel tightened. 

Nicole sighed. "I'm sorry. You know, no matter how bad life is, there is always something good, be it just a small thing that made you smile, a puppy on a leash strutting its tail or a beautiful sunset. All one has to do is focus on the good." Then she hurriedly climbed down the Jeep and retrieved her bike from the trunk. 

Without waiting for Waverly to drive away, Nicole climbed on her bike and pedaled like mad. She shouldn't be feeling these things. She shouldn't care about anything other than the fact that she's dying. Yet there she was, tears rolling down on her cheeks for she had fallen in love with a person who doesn't feel the same way back.


	10. Chapter 10

Nicole didn't remember much how she got there in the hospital, with IV drip inserted into her arm. She just recalled waking in the middle of the night in her bedroom, screaming like crazy while curled into a ball on her bed because her stomach hurt like hell. 

As she opened her eyes after an hour, Nicole no longer felt the pain. The medicine was finally kicking into her system. She felt numb though. She tried to get back to sleep but she couldn't avoid not hearing a sniffle around the corner. 

The redhead weakly turned her head to her side and from the dim light, she could make out the figure of her parents sitting by the door. Her mother was crying while she was cradled in the arms of her father. She could overhear Nicholas murmur to her mother about the doctor's advice on starting the treatment a week from now. Her ears heard Nancy's objections about Nicole's body and how it wasn't ready yet to undergo such procedure. The last thing she heard from her father before her eyes droop to sleep was how it was the only option available for the time being. 

~~~

It was Friday when Nicole finally got back to school. Jeremy had brought her some of the schoolworks she had missed during her absence. Her best friend had recounted Nicole the tale about how her teachers and their classmates believed she was only coming down with a fever. 

Nicole tried to catch up with most of her homework before heading towards her first class.

What surprised the redhead the most was when she closed her locker after obtaining some books inside, Nicole was suddenly engulfed in a tight embrace. Waverly's muscular tanned arms looped around Nicole's body as the former's head nestled on the latter's chest. Nicole could literally smell the addicting sweet vanilla from Waverly's hair. 

"Waves," Nicole mumbled, her arms snaking around the brunette in hesitation. The warmth from Waverly's body made Nicole long for her. She had missed Waverly, for sure. "What's wrong?"

When she heard the brunette started to cry on her chest, Nicole only hugged her tighter, no longer minding the curious stares from the students around them. 

"I'm sorry for what I did last Monday, Nicole," Waverly managed to say in between sobs. "I overreacted... I shouldn't have done that."

"Hey, hey," Nicole uttered back, burrowing her head into Waverly's hair. "It's okay... it's okay, Waves." The redhead rubbed Waverly's back as the latter's cries intensified. 

"You got sick because of me," Waverly went on. Nicole hugged the brunette tighter, trying to calm the latter down. If only it was that easy. If only Nicole had fever and not the dreaded cancer. If only she wouldn't have to undergo chemotherapy by next week. She would have pulled Waverly's head and leaned into her for a kiss. 

But Nicole didn't do any of that. She just hugged Waverly and hoped against hope that Waverly wouldn't cry like that when she finds out the truth. 

~~~

"Something is going on between the two of you," Jeremy said during lunchtime. 

Nicole sighed as she stared at the cold macaroni and cheese in front of her. She'd rather have Jeremy rave about the newly released comic books at Shorty's or listen to him argue about her sister's wedding than go on topic about Waverly. She had not shared what happened that night at the party with Jeremy. Nicole had promised the brunette not to. 

Jeremy could see the dilemma written all over Nicole's face as he went on. "Don't you think that this has gotten way out of hand? I mean, what if she finds out about your... condition... I mean... it's already summer and you're gonna start wearing gloves again."

"I don't know, Jer," Nicole admitted. "I think I'm in love with her... Isn't that crazy?"

Jeremy almost spilled his drink. "Yes, it is crazy, Nicole... Do you even know what love is? Maybe it's just infatuation."

"Do you know what love is?"

Jeremy shook. "The hell I know. I just know that it takes time to fall in love with someone. Love at first sight is nothing but a lie."

Nicole scoffed. "What if I don't have that much time?"

"Look, Nicole... Maybe you're feeling like this because your crush cares about you... I mean she finally notices you, I get that. But falling in love? Isn't that what you're trying to avoid in the first place? To not be noticed?"

"I just feel so different around her," Nicole muttered. 

"How can you tell?" Jeremy asked. "You've basically just known her for days, Nicole... and you two are not even friends. Yet you two act like you're into each other..."

"I just... I... don't know," Nicole gave up explaining. Why Waverly had that effect on her, she didn't know. All she knew was the feeling she felt when Waverly's around. _A feeling that made her forget she's dying._

____

____

Nicole's eyes drifted towards the brunette's table, surrounded by her friends. As she stared at Waverly's face, Nicole noticed something familiar. It was like she was looking at a mirror, but more on the similarities of the expression rather than the features. Waverly was sad. 

~~~

It was a chilly night when Nicole got outside Shorty's after purchasing the newly issued #1022 DC comic book she owed Jeremy. The redhead zipped her jacket up to her neck and blew air into her hands. Then she pedaled away on her bike, heading home. 

Her mother had stopped checking up on her, asking why she's not yet home at the moment. Her last text message to her, saying that she needed more time to catch up doing normal things before reality kicks in next week, made her mother realize that she deserves to be alone for a little while away from the real world. 

The streets were almost deserted. Most of the stores were already closed. Nicole was passing through the same Timber bridge she always does to get home. Thoughts about how much had changed since she tried to execute her number one bucket list flashed through her mind. If she had not been crazy enough to have done that, she wouldn't have known Waverly and fall in love with her. It wouldn't be so hard to let go. 

Nicole suddenly stopped in her tracks, using both of her feet to stop her bike. She noticed a familiar red Jeep Wrangler parked on hazard by the side of the bridge. When she noticed a familiar figure with wavy brown hair flying in all directions, standing on the same position Nicole stood before, on the edge of the railing, hands clinging for dear life, Nicole didn't waste a moment jumping off from her bike and ran towards the figure.

It was Waverly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter has a very sensitive content. You might want to skip those parts.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning. You might want to skip those parts.

"Waves," Nicole called out. 

Waverly turned around to look at her, startled. "Nicole? What are you doing here?"

Nicole could see Waverly's beautiful face etched with sadness, eyes were all red and puffy and cheeks were still wet from tears. 

"What happened?" Nicole asked, slowly making her way close to the brunette. 

Waverly held her hand at Nicole to stop her. "Don't come near me or I'll jump..."

"Waves, we can talk about this-"

"No, we can't. This is not some prank anymore, Nicole.... I... can't... can't-"

"You can, Waves, just tell me what happened," Nicole persistently asked, cautiously stepping her foot forward without the brunette noticing. 

"You won't understand it, Nicole... You're just some happy teenager who doesn't wake up regretfully in the morning and see the world as bleak and as sad as it truly is."

Nicole licked her lips. "Well, you don't know me, Waves... Trust me... It's not worth it."

"Just leave, please leave me alone." Waverly tightened her grip on the railing and she glanced at the rushing river below. The brunette's body was all shuddering from the cold. 

"Don't make me go all Jack Dawson on you," Nicole said, trying to lighten up the mood. She needed to distract the brunette.

Waverly looked at her quizzically. "Who's Jack Dawson?"

Nicole let out a soft laugh into the air. "Seriously? You've never seen Titanic?"

Waverly stopped crying and furrowed her brows in confusion. "I'm not a big fan of boats..."

Nicole grabbed the railing and climb over it, three feet away from Waverly. 

"What are you doing?!" Waverly hissed. 

Nicole only looked at her. "You jump, I jump, Waves... We're in this together."

"What?! Are you mental?!" Waverly was now turning back towards the road. Nicole looked at the river below and muttered, "Just a reminder, Waves. I don't know how to swim."

"Ugh! You're so infuriating!" Waverly snapped as she climbed over the railing back on the asphalt road. 

A smile crept unto the redhead's face as she did the same. "Hey, you know you can always tell me what happened, right? Even though, we're not really friends."

Waverly gulped back a sob as she crossed her arms around her chest. She bit her lower lip as she mumbled, "Today's Willa's death anniversary..."

Without second thoughts, Nicole immediately leaned forward and hugged the brunette, not caring if Waverly didn't reciprocate. "Waves, I know I told you that you can choose to move forward and be happy... but sometimes, it's okay to also feel these things... it's okay to be sad... but, it's not worth ending your life for this..."

Waverly let herself break down as she opened her arms around the redhead, snuggling into Nicole's chest. "I don't know... Everything just feels so out of place... I get now why Willa felt so depressed all the time... The pressure I get for applying to a better college... To be the responsible and mature daughter between me and Wynonna... And my so-called friends, who were supposed to be my friends, made fun of me because I hugged you this morning... It just feels so infuriating and it's driving me insane how I can't just live my life the way I want to..."

Nicole rubbed Waverly's back as the latter went on crying. "Hey, ssshh... Waves, you do know you can, right? You can live your life the way you want... It's yours, Waves. It was given to you and you alone. They don't own you... You're not anyone's property except yourself... Wynonna's probably not thinking about pressuring you... You're just innately brilliant, Waves. With pressure or not, you always like learning things... It's always the way you're supposed to live. And about your friends, well, they're just shitty friends..." This made the brunette stop crying and chuckle into her chest. Nicole went on, tightening her hug against Waverly. "If they don't accept who you really are, then they're not exactly your friends, Waves... You should be free around them, not hiding and especially not forming yourself into someone that pleases them... I'm sure if Willa was around, she'd kick their asses for making fun of you..."

Waverly sniffled and laughed, pulling her head from Nicole's chest and stared at the redhead's eyes. No one knew who closed the gap between them. All Nicole knew was how she was now tasting Waverly in her mouth, both sweet and salty from the tears. 

One thing Nicole was sure of from that time forward, if it's possible, was to make sure to make Waverly happy. _Because she still can._

____

__

~~~

"Nicole? What are you doing here?" Waverly asked, half asleep but beautiful just the same, as she came outside their porch. Nicole was leaning against her father's old Camry that she had convinced to borrow for the day. 

"I didn't know you have a car," Waverly teased. "Much less a driver's license."

Nicole laughed. "It's my dad's and I do have a driver's license."

Waverly walked towards the redhead and hesitantly gave her a peck on the cheeks. They still hadn't talked about what happened after last night - their current status. Nicole only knew Waverly was lonely and she needed the redhead to be there. 

"I've asked Gus," Nicole said, smiling. "And she agreed that I can take you out today."

Waverly's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What? But it's morning..."

Nicole grinned wider. "I have a whole day planned for you... So... do you want to go with me or not?"

The brunette looked down on her feet and Nicole swore she blushed. "I... Yeah sure, I'll just get ready..."

"Okay."

~~~

"Where are we heading to?" Waverly giddily asked. They were now driving along the highway heading towards the exit sign of Purgatory. Nicole's eyes were on the road as she replied, "Outside of Purgatory."

"I get that," Waverly said with a laugh. "But where to?"

"It's a surprise," Nicole answered. "Do you want to listen to some songs on the radio?"

Waverly smiled wider as she nodded. When Nicole turned on the old stereo in front of them, Spice Girls' song Wannabe came blurting out. 

"Oh, I love this song," Nicole cheerily announced as she glanced at the brunette. "I bet you do too, you and Chrissy used to sing this in the 90s themed talent show, right?"

"You remembered that?" Waverly asked, all red and giggling. "How could you remember that?"

"How could I forget?" Nicole turned the stereo louder, which made Waverly laugh more. Then Nicole began to sing the lyrics, swaying her arms and hands as she danced to the song. 

"If you wanna get with me, better make it fast"

Waverly only rolled to fits of laughter, slapping Nicole's shoulder. "Come on, Waves, you know the words... sing with me..."

And the redhead's voice sang louder. "Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want  
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want"

Waverly then let herself go as she sang and danced with Nicole. 

"I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)  
I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah"

And as Nicole stole glances of a happy Waverly beside her, she realized that it felt amazing making the brunette happy. 

~~~

"Um, why are we in a thrift store?" Waverly asked, as she walked along with Nicole, passing long aisles of various clothing. 

"Because... We need to look formal," Nicole said. Then she stopped and picked out a black tuxedo. "What do you think about this?"

Waverly laughed. "You'd look good on that if you're trying it for your own funeral... How about this?"

Nicole pursed her lips and nodded. "I knew I could count on your taste."

"Where are we going to anyway?"

"Okay... I'm gonna say this now, so you still have time to back out?"

"Back out? Nicole, we're already miles outside of Purgatory and you're my only means of transportation..."

"Well," Nicole said as she went on looking through the clothes. Then she picked out one from the left side. "This dress would really look good on you."

Waverly laughed. "If you're trying to apply for a job in circus... So where are we exactly headed and why do we look so formal?"

Waverly had stopped walking and was now staring at a turquoise no strap flowing dress.

"You should try that on," Nicole suggested. 

Waverly shook her head no and went on walking. Nicole hurriedly picked out the dress and gave it to the brunette. "You'll look great in it. You always do in anything."

Waverly's face turned red as she accepted the dress and slowly walked towards the dressing room. Nicole hurriedly changed into hers as well. When Waverly came out sporting the dress they picked, looking all beautiful and gorgeous, Nicole lost her voice. 

"Wow," Nicole stuttered. "You're... You're a vision."

"Oh, please, I didn't have time to accessorize," Waverly said, smiling shyly. "Now can you tell me where we are going?"

Nicole shrugged herself and quickly turned to pay the cashier. 

"Waves, it's time to break into a wedding," Nicole said, smiling from ear to ear. 

~~~

They parked on the side of the road beside a huge Caribbean looking resort. There were a lot of cars and limousines parked around them and a lot of people wearing formal dresses by the entrance. 

"Nicole, you're really serious about this?" Waverly asked, now in hesitation. 

"Come on, tell me you've never broken in to a wedding before?" Nicole laughed as she pulled the key from the ignition.

When she looked at Waverly, Nicole noticed Waverly was glaring, almost angry. "I haven't, Nicole... That's a crazy and dangerous thing to do, you know that, right?"

Nicole only laughed as she fixed the collar of her shirt. 

"Why are you laughing?" Waverly asked, now fuming. "Nicole, if breaking weddings is another part of your pranks, then I'm certainly not totally in for this... Fudgenuggets. I should have insisted asking where you would be taking me in the first place..." Her voice trailed off as she saw a familiar figure heading towards their car. _Jeremy._

____

____

Nicole laughed louder. "You really thought I was serious about breaking in... Come on, Waves... Jeremy's sister's wedding is about to start..."

~~~

Nicole couldn't stop staring at Waverly who had now grown attached to a five-year old girl, Jeremy's younger sister. The brunette just looked so vibrant. Nicole wondered how just a night ago, Waverly looked so lost and different, and now, she's so happy and everything good. 

"You really have it bad, don't you?" Jeremy teased beside Nicole. Nicole only smiled. 

Waverly glanced their way and she smiled and waved, her eyes creasing on the sides. It was a breathtaking sight. 

~~~

"Can I have this dance?" Nicole asked after the groom, bride and other guests had already gathered on the dance floor. 

"Why of course, you may," Waverly answered, her face all red as she took Nicole's hand in hers. 

They swayed slowly on the dance floor, Nicole's hands were on Waverly's waist while Waverly's arms were around Nicole's shoulders. After a moment of staring into each other's eyes, Waverly leaned forward and rested her head against the redhead's chest. Nicole burrowed her face into Waverly's hair, taking in everything that is Waverly. 

"I owe you this one, you know," Nicole whispered through her ear. 

"Hm?"

"This dance," Nicole continued. "I ditched on you last time."

Waverly chuckled softly and looked up at her. "Yes, you do really owe me..."

"And now, I'm paying for it," Nicole answered, smirking.

Waverly smiled from ear to ear. "Have I told you how dashing you look in this tux?"

Nicole's cheeks blushed as she replied, "No, you were so busy commenting how crazy I was breaking into a wedding."

Waverly broke into laughter as she said, "Well, I really thought you were, to be honest."

Silence fell through them as they danced to the slow sweet song. It was a good kind of silence. Nicole's eyes began to water as her feelings towards the brunette intensified the longer she held her. And she knew it was wrong. 

"Thank you for this, Nicole...," Waverly's voice brought her back to the present, the one she should focus on. "Thank you for everything."


	12. Chapter 12

The next afternoon, Nicole went to visit Waverly in the Homestead. She brought with her two bags of popcorn her mother made and their old Titanic DVD. 

The ride home last night was full of amazing stories they shared about Nicole's parents, about Waverly's embarrassing moments in grade school, Nicole's favorite lines from The Big Bang Theory series, Waverly's attempt to watch the series since last weekend when Nicole shared about it and the never ending kisses every stoplight they passed. 

Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis left the three of them in the living room as they watched the movie. Wynonna knew better, giving occasional coughs every now and then whenever Waverly and Nicole would sneak in a kiss. 

It was almost dinnertime when someone unexpected showed up. The movie was already finished and Wynonna suggested to watch a Comedy when the figure, who look like someone in his forties, just as old as Curtis', walked into the door. 

Wynonna immediately stood from the couch and glared at the visitor, like she was ready for a fight. Nicole felt Waverly flinch in her arms. 

"What are you doing here?!" Wynonna hissed. 

"Dad?" Waverly asked, bewildered. That's when Nicole knew why the older man looked so familiar. 

Nicole left the three of them talking in the living room while Nicole busied herself inside Waverly's bedroom. As she stared at the medals Waverly had in her room, Nicole couldn't avoid hearing the conversation downstairs had now turned heated. Waverly was right. It wasn't that easy for them. They did really try to be happy. 

Later on, Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis joined in and they invited Nicole for late supper. 

It was an awkward dinner since their father, Ward, was in the vicinity. Nicole focused on eating the string beans from the steak Aunt Gus prepared for them. Waverly avoided her gaze, but Nicole could tell she was trying to maintain her best appearance, not when she's sitting beside her father. She had his hazel eyes. 

After what seemed like forever, Ward finally broke the silence. "I... I have cancer... I have been taking chemotherapy for two weeks now..."

Nicole stopped munching her food and others followed suit. Good thing Ward revealed the news when they were almost done with dinner. That kind of intensity would surely make someone's appetite go away. 

The redhead only stared at the man's face as he trailed off discussing about what he's been trying to do to make amends. Ward wasn't bald but when Nicole looked at the man's fingers, they were all darkened as if he had frostbite. He was telling the truth. 

~~~

After the dinner, Ward finally left. Nicole searched for Waverly around the house and found her sitting on their backyard swing, staring at the dark horizon of the night. Nicole had never trudged further into the Earp homeland. It was huge with a wide corn field in front of them beside a small barn. 

"Hey," Nicole greeted the brunette. Waverly seemed to expect she was going to find her soon. 

"Hi," Waverly greeted back. "Sorry, I left you unattended... I needed some time alone to think..."

Nicole smiled as she hesitated to sit on the other swing. "You want to talk about it or should I just give you space-"

"It's okay, Nicole," Waverly said, forcing a smile. "Please take a seat."

Nicole took a seat on the swing beside Waverly and began pushing herself from the ground a bit to sway into the night. She had never been on a swing before since grade school. And she remembered she had her first kiss with a boy on a swing. Her first realization that, contrary to what she saw in movies or read in books, the kiss didn't give her butterflies. 

"Willa used to push me and Wynonna simultaneously every afternoon after lunch," Waverly chatted, smiling as she looked blankly before them. "We used to get scolded because it would make us dizzy and vomit all the lunch food we just ate."

Nicole smiled on the ground as she listened to the brunette narrate her childhood. "She must be so fun."

"Yeah, she was." Waverly deeply sighed. Then after a brief moment, she muttered, "Dad's said he's sorry... But I don't know if he really meant it. After all these years... Now that Willa's gone... and suddenly he asks forgiveness just because he has cancer..."

The redhead could read a tone of anger from the brunette. "I just... I hate him so much that I can't forgive him for what he did... and now, he's making us look like guilty daughters who have no conscience or care about him being sick."

Nicole looked at the brunette and stared at how beautiful she looked even at the end of the day. "I'm sure he's lost right now... and he's trying to make things right... and I guess that starts by apologizing-"

Confused glaring eyes met Nicole's. "You don't understand."

Nicole gulped a lump nervously as she gripped unto the chains beside her. "Well, I just think that you should, you know, at least listen to him. To what he has to say... Though not forgive him immediately..."

"Do you even know what you're talking about? He's the reason Willa's dead." Nicole could tell the conversation had gone downhill. She shouldn't have said anything. But she knew what it felt like dying and how she wanted to leave without anyone holding a grudge against her. 

"I know... I know," Nicole hurriedly added. "And he's sorry, Waves... Maybe he just wanted to do something right before his cancer-"

"You know what, I think it's already late," Waverly interjected, abruptly standing up, making the swing bounce madly behind her. "I think you should go home, Nicole."

"What? Why? Okay, if you don't want to talk about him, it's fine-"

"No, I think you should just go home..." Waverly walked past her. 

Nicole stood up and followed the brunette. "Is this what you do when you're faced with a problem, Waves? You left it to pause and run away?"

Waverly turned around to glare at the redhead. "I am not running away... You have no right, Nic."

"Well, I'm just stating my opinion-"

"I don't need your opinion... We're not dating. We're not even friends... In fact, I don't know what we are."

And that hurt Nicole like hell. That hurt more than her cancer. "Hey, I'm not asking you to-"

"Then don't... Just... I need to be alone, Nicole. Please," Waverly said as she walked back inside the kitchen. 

And Nicole let her go.


	13. Chapter 13

"I don't get Waverly... I mean, she was super nice last Saturday, you two were inseparable. And now suddenly, she's ignoring you?" Jeremy asked after half an hour of recounting his date with Robin yesterday. Nicole somehow wished she had her best friend's luck. 

On another note, Nicole thought the universe was just giving her another chance to give up on Waverly because she knew she'd leave the brunette anyway. _But it wasn't the time to be selfish._

____

____

Waverly needed somebody. Nicole wouldn't just give up on her. And Nicole finally realized what love was - to put Waverly's wellbeing and happiness first on top of her own. 

"I overstepped, Jer," Nicole admitted, craning her neck around the school canteen to see if Waverly has arrived. It was nearly lunchtime. "I should have kept my cool and not meddle into her family's problems... I lost it last night... I said some things I shouldn't have-"

"Like what?"

"Like how she's always running away when she has problems? I'm such an idiot..."

"Maybe she's realizing your point was right," Jeremy suggested. "I mean, you know, with your condition, sometimes, the things you say makes so much sense than most normal people do." It was always Jeremy's view on Nicole's opinions. Because she was dying, the words coming out of the redhead's mouth seemed important and meaningful. It was like a perception from those who see the world and notice the little things that matter. _Because people who are not yet dying tend to ignore these little things as they live._

____

____

Waverly arrived in the canteen alone. Nicole's gaze averted from Jeremy towards her. She wasn't followed by her croons. 

The brunette took a seat by the window, opening her lunchbox her Aunt Gus probably prepared for her. Nicole stared at the brunette's slender back and random thoughts flashed through her mind. Waverly had not replied to any of her text messages since last night, even to her morning greetings. Nicole should have just taken her chance like, 'Hey, Nicole, this is your getaway ticket to back out from Waverly's life before it's too late', yet, Nicole found herself heading towards Waverly's table. 

"Hey," Nicole greeted, hesitantly taking a seat beside the brunette. 

Waverly only flinched. Her smell of vanilla infiltrated the redhead's nostrils. Nicole badly wanted to hug the brunette, to erase the sadness etched on her face, to remind her that Nicole will always be there for her until she can't. But Waverly seemed so far from saving. 

Nicole took something out from her backpack. It was the photo taken from Jeremy's sister's wedding last Saturday. They were laughing, arm in arm, with Jeremy and his younger sister. "I... Jeremy wanted to give you this..."

Waverly's eyes darted towards the picture for a second then she was back on her focus as she hurried on eating. The redhead licked her lips, the silence deafening, as Waverly ignored her. "This... This was so much fun, right?"

Nicole then noticed approaching individuals coming from her right. _Waverly's so-called friends._

____

____

"Keep that away please," Waverly suddenly hissed beside her, startling the redhead. Knowing Waverly had not yet come out to her friends, Nicole quickly shoved the picture to Waverly's shoulder bag. 

"So... Dyke here is joining our lunch now?" Stephanie nonchalantly asked as the group took a seat around their table. Stephanie then nudged Waverly's elbow. "Are you friends with her?"

Waverly only shook her head no. Chrissy noticed the tension and commented, "The more, the merrier, Steph-"

"Shut it, Nedley... We might as well invite the janitor and have lunch with him...," Stephanie sneered. Then she glared at Nicole, "You heard Waverly... Why don't you leave her alone?"

And Nicole deeply sighed as she stood and left their table. 

~~~

Days flew past like bullet trains and it was already the weekend. Nicole managed to survive the days with the absence of the brunette. 

It was finally her first session of Chemotherapy. The first three sessions would be the trigger point, whether Nicole's body would reject the treatment or not. But it didn't mean that it wouldn't weaken her. 

Both of her parents accompanied her. It wasn't like her first chemo, where IV drip bags would be inserted into her. It was just like a normal consultation to the doctor, only this time, Nicole's doctor was handing her an inordinate amount of tablets for which she was instructed what to take during morning, lunch, evening and for the entire day, or what's taken for thrice a week. 

Nicole only knew that she had been staring at her hands long enough before the chemo started, to savor the time left that she had normal flesh colored hands. Nicole felt fine after her first medication. It seemed like she was only taking vitamins. The following night, though, she was all puking in her comfort room. It didn't stop from there, Nicole knew that. 

Came Tuesday, Nicole was spending her time in the library to review for her coming exams. The redhead was looking for a certain book on Calculus when she passed by a crying figure crouching by the shelves of old dusty Encyclopedias, the section in the library where not most students would visit. It was Waverly. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Nicole asked, hurriedly taking a seat on the ground beside her. 

Waverly immediately wiped her tears away as if she was caught in the act. She collected her belongings, ready to leave. 

"Waves, you know, you can always talk to me... I'll always be here," Nicole said. "Maybe I can help-"

"Help, Nicole? Really?" Waverly scoffed. "To be honest, you're only making it worse. So, please, if you wanna help, just leave me alone."

And Waverly left. 

Nicole suddenly felt the urge to puke. She quickly made a run towards the comfort room. 

~~~

"Are you pregnant?" Wynonna asked during their Physics class. Ever since they had started their school project together, Wynonna had fondly taken a seat beside the redhead. Are they friends now?

Nicole stared at her in disbelief. "What made you say that?"

"Rosita saw and heard you puking in the comfort room this morning," she replied. 

"And the only assumption was that I am pregnant?"

"Well, jeez, it was just the talk of the town." _Great, now Nicole's both gay and pregnant. Genius._

____

____

Nicole spat. "I could have food poisoning."

"If you had, then the entire school would have been poisoned, too," Wynonna replied. "What's bugging you? You and Waverly on a lovers' quarrel?"

"We're not dating," Nicole interjected. Wynonna raised her hands in defense. 

"Fine, Haughtstuff. No need to be defensive-"

"We are not," Nicole admitted. Her phone chimed. A reminder that she had to take her pills. 

The alarm triggered the redhead to do something she might regret later. But it was the only choice she had left. Waverly wouldn't even talk to her. 

"Wynonna," Nicole began.

"Mm?"

"There's something you need to know about Waverly."

~~~

Nicole arrived the following day on the usual post in the parking lot where she would chain her bike. Her mother had argued with her to just borrow her father's car and drive to school but the redhead insisted that it was a part of her daily exercise. Also, she needed time to think peacefully. 

A petite brunette, her hair now in braids, was leaning on a red Jeep Wrangler. Nicole knew Waverly was waiting for her when she recognized the fuming face of the brunette, the one where she's going to explode. 

Nicole not only crossed the line. She jumped over it. She knew telling Wynonna about Waverly's suicidal attempt wasn't right but Nicole had no other option. 

When she reached Waverly, Nicole immediately received a hot and hard blow on her cheeks. It wasn't just a spank that she had received before. It was a cold blooded punch, Nicole thought she might lose a tooth. 

"I fucking trusted you, you shit ticket!" Waverly exclaimed, her nostrils flaring and eyes all watery. "Don't you ever, ever come near me again!"

Nicole deserved that. She really did. At least she wouldn't have to worry. Wynonna would take care of her. Wynonna would. She promised.


	14. Chapter 14

Weeks had passed since that last encounter with the brunette. As requested, Nicole did try to avoid Waverly most of the time. It was for the best. At least, the universe was nice enough for Nicole to do her bucket list with her longtime crush and get away with it. She did really made a change. The redhead would no longer find the brunette crying in the library or spending some time alone in the bridge. Waverly was no longer friends with Stephanie. She now spent most of her time with Chrissy and her sister Wynonna. 

Nicole, however, had now started wearing her gloves. Thankfully, Champ and Steph had stopped teasing her about it.

Wynonna had secretly thanked Nicole for reaching out to her. They finally had a big sorry party about all the things they had tend to miss out. They finally got to talk about what's bothering Waverly a lot and how Willa's death had affected her the most. 

Nicole was happy to help. She was happy to make a difference. Not because it was part of her bucket list. But because she truly loved Waverly. And that was the only thing she could really do for her. _To love and care from a distance._

____

____

Rumors then started to spread about the school Football captain, Henry, making a move on Waverly. Henry was different from Champ and other guys from school. He would be good enough for Waverly. He wouldn't hurt her. However, Nicole couldn't help but feel betrayed when she saw the two spending most of their times laughing by the school corridors or during lunchtime in their canteen. Nicole had never felt so jealous in her life and it hurt that she couldn't do anything about it. Waverly deserved to be with someone like Henry. It was probably for the best. 

"Maybe you should go," Jeremy said one time during school break. They were sprawled on the stairs facing the huge school entrance, with comic books before them. "Not to sound like shit, but maybe, in the cancer support group, there's a gay beautiful chick around."

Nicole would have slapped the sense out of her best friend but he got his point. Nicole would have a better chance to be with a dying person, on the same journey as hers, rather than with Waverly. 

"So, what's up, nerds?" Wynonna suddenly blurted out, surprising the two as she took a seat in front of them. "Wow, that's a lot of comic books."

"Nicole's planning to sell these back to Shorty's clearance sale," Jeremy said. 

"Why?"

Nicole had really no intention to share the truth. "I'm decluttering my room," was all she replied. 

"Mm," Wynonna garbled, then she grabbed Nicole's hand in hers, covered by gloves. "What's wrong with your hand?"

The redhead immediately pulled her hand away from Wynonna's grasp as she lied, "I'm just cold-"

"In summer?" 

Jeremy came to the rescue. "It's always cold in Canada, even during summer."

Wynonna only nodded then she uttered. "Okay, back to business... I came here to ask Haught why she has been avoiding my sister..."

Nicole's eyes widened. "She's the one who told me to stay away from her..."

"I know... but actually, you were the one who's in fault. You know, if you could have pursued her even when she's stubborn, you still might have a chance," Wynonna answered. 

But Nicole had already noticed that. Waverly had been making herself visible most of the time to the redhead, reading on the table by the entrance of the library, arriving at school on the same time as Nicole. Waverly was intentionally giving her chances to seek forgiveness, but Nicole knew it was for the best that they stayed as strangers.

~~~

Weeks had passed so swiftly, Nicole then noticed she only had two more weeks left to drink the prescribed drugs. Her hands and feet were all but black now. At least, she didn't have to lose her hair. At least, her body didn't reject the treatment. 

They were now heading to the hospital for their bi-weekly consultation. Her father was behind the wheels and her mother was riding shotgun. Nicole was on the backseat, staring at the passersby outside the window. 

"I think I'm gonna join the support group," Nicole absentmindedly uttered to her parents. 

Her parents' face lit up. "Nicole, that's a wonderful decision. What made you change my mind?"

The younger redhead only shrugged her shoulders. 

"Well," Nancy said. "I think it's really best to make friends."

Nicole knew she wasn't lonely. She had Jeremy. But he was always on a date with Robin when they're not at school. So, Nicole must be lonely. 

Nevertheless, it was her own advice to move forward and choose to be happy. 

~~~

As Nicole waited for the results of the test, she wandered off by the clean hallways and hummed. She needed time to think about what she would do in the cancer support group. _Would she meet friends? Would there be any kid around her age?_

____

____

Suddenly she heard someone sniffling. She walked towards the noise and came across an open door. 

Nicole was never much of a nosy person but she could clearly see from the gap a girl her age with round brown eyes, short black curls and fair skin with an IV drip in her arm. The redhead realized the room was familiar. It was where she had her first chemotherapy. 

The girl was sniffling alone as she waited. 

"Hey," Nicole said, after she knocked. The girl abruptly stopped and quickly wiped her tears away. 

"My name's Nicole," Nicole said, taking a seat nearby. 

The girl only scoffed. "The hospital doesn't allow privacy now?"

Nicole only smiled, which made the girl roll her eyes. "First session?"

The moment Nicole said that, the girl now looked at her differently. She slowly nodded. 

"I know the feeling... I'm surprised you must be so brave having to do it alone," Nicole went on. "I was so scared the first time I had done this. I insisted my mother not to leave me."

"You have cancer?"

"Yep, big old C," Nicole replied, smiling. This earned a smile from the girl. 

"My name's Kate."

"Well, Kate... It's time for me to teach you how to survive chemo... Emotionally, I think..."

~~~

When she arrived at the building where the Cancer Support Group was gathered, Nicole accidentally bumped into Waverly and Wynonna's father, Ward. 

"I'm sorry," Nicole apologized. "I wasn't looking."

"It's okay... You're Waverly's friend, right?" Ward asked, smiling. 

"Umm, just Wynonna's Physics partner," Nicole admitted. 

"So what brings you here? Are you a volunteer too or you have-"

Nicole's eyes darted to the front of the function hall and saw Sheriff Nedley with his daughter Chrissy, Waverly's best friend. Chrissy stared at Nicole in confusion. Nicole forgot the Nedleys founded the Cancer Support Group. 

"Oh, none of the two. I just passed by along the building," Nicole immediately lied. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, mighty fine, I guess. I think I'm finally getting on Wynonna and Waverly's soft side. They're actually heading this way. It's supposed to be 'bring your family' session."

Nicole swallowed a lump in her throat. She needed to leave. 

"Haughtdamn! What are you doing here?" Nicole was too late.


	15. Chapter 15

"Wynonna, Waves-..Waverly," Nicole greeted, her heart thumping loudly against her chest. The sisters hugged their father, Waverly reluctantly. She could see Waverly avoiding to meet her gaze. "Just passing through. I'm actually heading to Shorty's," Nicole went on with her lie. _Great, Now she's not gonna be able to join any support group._

____

____

"Okay... Wow, you look like you've seen a ghost," Wynonna teased when her father and sister started to walk away further into the room, looking for good empty seats. 

Nicole nervously laughed, as she scratched the back of her head. "Just... It was great seeing you three going along fine."

"Well... Ward was really persistent on asking absolution," Wynonna answered, sighing. "Which is why I was wondering why you gave up on Waverly... I mean, look at them... Waverly's finally opening her heart for our father..."

Nicole let out a small chuckle. "It's for the best, anyway. I'm... I'm graduating soon... And... you know... she's also dating Henry-"

Wynonna bursted out a laugh. "Phew, hate to break it you, Haught, but Waves is keeping her options open for a certain redhead. And I believe that is you... What's gotten into you? It was a simple honest mistake... It just showed that you care for her so much..."

Nicole's eyes darted towards the back of the shorter brunette's head, her longing intensified. 

"And you gave up just because she shouted at you?" Wynonna went on. "Okay, maybe she punched you too, but, you didn't lose a tooth, right?"

Nicole smiled. "I think they're gonna start soon... Don't wanna keep you..."

"Nicole-"

"Wait, did you just call me by my first name?"

Wynonna laughed. "Yeah, don't flatter yourself... It just tells you I'm serious... I'm gonna give you some advice, okay? Waverly is used to being rejected all the time... First, by my father... then, by me... then, by her friends... she's not used to people fighting for her... and maybe, she thought you'd fight for her, too. I, myself, thought you'd do too... Waverly deserves it, Haught."

Nicole only stared at Waverly's back as she tried to hold back her tears. She thought she could. But it was hard. 

When Waverly turned her head around to look at their direction, Nicole then bid goodbye.

~~~

"So, what's your deal?" Kate asked, an IV drip into her left arm and a Journey into Mystery 83 comic book on the other.

"What?" Nicole looked up from John Green's Turtles All The Way Down book she took from Kate. They had agreed to exchange their favorite reading materials to spend the afternoon.

Kate smirked as she went back reading. "I don't know... Umm, why are you spending your time with me when you can spend it anywhere else?"

Nicole laughed and went back reading. "As you can see, I don't have that many friends..."

The other girl rolled her eyes. "I see..."

"And I don't want you having chemo alone," Nicole admitted.

"Yeah, you could have just stopped at friends, Nicole, don't get too sentimental on me," Kate teased. "So, you don't have any girl waiting for you out there?"

Nicole looked at her in confusion. "You know I'm a-"

"Yes, Nicole... You reek of gayness... I mean, Sheldon-inspired clothes... Comic books..." Kate flashed the comic book in her hand.

"Hey, that's Thor's first appearance... And you're okay with being friends with me?"

"Don't be silly... Why wouldn't I be?"

Nicole only smiled from ear to ear. She wasn't used to being accepted by others.

~~~

Nicole sat on the asphalt road, her arms leaning before the railing and her head resting on her arms. She wanted to be alone. A week had passed after her last medication and it seemed like it wasn't doing her any good. But it didn't make her as sick as she was on her first and second week. She felt just fine. _An okay kind of fine._

____

____

Nicole thought about what if she did survive. Being a cancer survivor did not cross the redhead's mind. Would she regret what she had done in the past? Nicole knew it was much better than having to say goodbye. _At least, expecting the worse wouldn't give people expectations. What about college? Should she think about it too?_

____

____

"You're not thinking of jumping, are you?" Someone behind her speak. Nicole almost jumped as she looked up and saw Waverly. She gave a small smile and mentally curse fate. She was going just fine and then Waverly had to come back. It was as if the universe could hear her thoughts. 

"No, just... waiting for sunset," Nicole admitted. She felt too weak to argue anymore. 

Waverly took a seat beside her, Nicole could literally smell the vanilla from her. "I missed you."

Nicole only avoided her gaze. And closed her eyes. This couldn't be happening. This shouldn't be happening. The redhead chose not to reply. She missed the brunette too. So much that she cried herself to sleep every night. But it was better that way. _Nicole's like a bomb waiting to explode. She couldn't afford hurting more people around her when she does explode, especially Waverly._

____

____

"You actually did stay away from me," Waverly went on, sighing. "I didn't know you were compliant... I just thought that right after I punched you, you'd run after me and... I just thought you're different..."

Nicole wished she had that option. "Well, I'm very obedient."

Waverly softly chuckled. A soft breeze blew past them.

"How's your father?" Nicole asked, changing the topic.

"He's doing fine... He has finished his chemo...," Waverly answered, looking at the horizon before them. The sun was almost setting. "He has been living with us again, you know... in the Homestead... He has been doing the things he should have done before, he says." The brunette smiled. "You know, he's been cooking us meal everyday now... he's helping Uncle Curtis on their farm business. And he's obsessed with this new crocheting hobby he learned from the support group."

Nicole let out a laugh. Waverly chuckled as well. The redhead had missed the brunette's laughs. 

"What about you?" Nicole asked.

"Mm?"

"How have you been?"

"Oh, you know, I'm... I'm okay, actually..," Waverly replied. Then she deeply sighed. "When you told Wynonna about what I did and how I felt, she has changed a lot. Like she has been trying to be a good big sister to me, you know. I'm not really asking for it. But it was impossible not to notice... Aunt Gus has also been giving me advice about the real world and how to cope with it... Most importantly, I'm no longer friends with Stephanie."

Nicole smiled. "I've noticed."

"She is just so full of herself. It was time to take action... I've said some things to her... and Chrissy has been noticing that she has been trying to be nice recently."

"Really?" 

Waverly laughed. "Believe it or not, Steph has been smiling to us lately."

"All everyone seems to need is just to talk and be heard," Nicole said. The sun was now kissing the horizon, giving that orange color in the sky. "That's one beautiful sunset."

Nicole could tell the brunette's eyes were on her, but she tried to ignore it. "What about you? How are you doing?"

"I'm... doing fine, I guess," Nicole admitted. She had been holding her tongue to reveal about her condition. She felt like this was not the time. This was Waverly's time to be better and revealing such news would crumble the brunette's world down. "I made $235 from my comic book collection."

"Really? That's a lot... Why did you sell them?"

"Just... decluttering," Nicole only managed to say. Then she looked at Waverly and she met her piercing hazel eyes staring back. "I think... I should get home."

Nicole slowly stood. She could clearly see the disappointment from the brunette's face. But Waverly followed her. 

"At least, let me give you a ride," Waverly offered. Nicole couldn't say no. She had been pushing the brunette away that Nicole felt Waverly would notice. 

~~~

"Nicole!" The redhead heard a familiar voice filled the diner. Nicole turned her head towards the sound and saw Kate on a table with Waverly and Chrissy. She froze on the spot before she forced a smile. She was just going to buy chocolate milkshake before heading to Shorty's. Now, she regretted it.

Waverly and Nicole had an awkward evening yesterday when Waverly took her home. When Waverly seemed to lean towards her, Nicole immediately bid her goodbye and climbed down her Jeep. 

"You two knew each other?" Chrissy asked, her eyes widened. Nicole hurriedly walked towards their table.

"Yep, she-" Kate was interrupted by Nicole pulling her arm. They walked towards a corner. Nicole hoped she had been gentle. 

"What's wrong, Nicole?" Kate asked, bewildered. 

"I'm sorry for that," Nicole quickly whispered. "I... how did you know Chrissy and Waverly?"

"Are you friends with them?"

"Schoolmates."

"Oh, okay, if you say so... Well, I was invited to a cancer support group and Chrissy invited me to lunch with her best friend... So, here we are now..."

Nicole swallowed a lump in her throat. "The thing is... they don't know... they don't know about my cancer."

Kate only stared at her. Nicole realized she had been holding Kate's hand for too long then she let go. "That's... That's okay, Nic. Good thing you have told me... That was close..."

They walked back to the table with a confused Chrissy and an upset Waverly. Or so Nicole imagined. 

"I didn't know you two knew each other," Chrissy uttered. 

Kate smiled as she sat next to Waverly. "Oh, I met Nicole at Shorty's. She was really fond of comic books, I thought she worked there."

~~~

Waverly suddenly took a seat beside Jeremy on their table by lunchtime. 

"Hey," Nicole and Jeremy both greeted. 

"Hi," Waverly said as she opened her lunchbox. "You don't mind me sitting here with you, right? Chrissy's still in Science Lab, exams..."

"It's fine, Waverly. You can join us," Jeremy answered. 

"Where's your boyfriend?" Nicole suddenly asked after a brief moment. 

"Boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend," Waverly replied, giving her a confused glare. 

"Henry-"

"He's not my boyfriend... He's just a friend," Waverly said. Jeremy only looked at the two of them exchanging conversations. "What about your Kate then? Why aren't you with her? Doesn't she go at East High? It's just a couple of blocks away from here."

"Who's Kate?" Jeremy suddenly asked. Nicole forgot to mention about her chemo buddy to Jeremy. 

"Just a friend, Jer," Nicole answered. Then she looked at Waverly who looked unconvinced. "And she's definitely not my girlfriend."

"Whatever you say, Nic," Waverly said as she went to devour her lunch. 

~~~

"Haughtstuff," Wynonna suddenly grabbed Nicole by the hallway and pulled her towards the entrance. Then she pushed a folder containing a number of documents into Nicole's chest. "Please help me... I want to submit an application to Ghost River University. Our guidance counselor said it's not yet too late... and that they accept late applications."

Nicole smiled from ear to ear. Waverly was right. Wynonna was changing to be a better sister. 

"Yeah, sure, Wy... My pleasure." Nicole knew it wasn't right to tell Wynonna she hadn't submitted any application yet. She didn't want to affect the taller brunette's excitement. It wasn't her time. 

~~~

"I can't, Waves," Nicole said. "I'm... I'm not going to prom."

Waverly was biting her lower lip, her eyes all watery. She had now pulled back the small card she had written for Nicole asking 'Will you go to the prom with me?'. Purgatory High held a joint junior and senior prom. 

"Can you at least tell me why?" Waverly managed to ask. 

"I... I just don't attend social events-"

"Oh, cut the crap, Nic... it's your last prom... Why can't you just tell me that you don't want me?" Waverly turned and walked away. 

"What? How can you say that?" Nicole followed the brunette. 

"You keep pushing me away, Nicole," Waverly snapped. "It's clear now that you don't really like me like that."

And then they were interrupted by the school bell. Waverly hurried into her classroom. 

Later that afternoon, Nicole went to the library to search for the brunette. She was going to tell Waverly about her condition and why she was pushing the brunette away and how she had always wanted her but she knew she shouldn't. 

When she found her reading by the corner, Nicole approached Waverly and took a seat beside her. 

"Waves," Nicole said. Waverly only ignored her. "There's something I need to tell you."

"I said yes to Henry," Waverly muttered without leaving her eyes from the book. Nicole felt a pang inside her stomach. 

"What?"

"I'm going to the prom with Henry. Unlike you, he was clear he wanted me."

"Waves... I... you didn't even give me a day to decide?!" Nicole snapped, she couldn't avoid getting hurt by Waverly's revelation. 

"Excuse me?" Waverly now glared at her. 

"What if I was gonna say yes?" Nicole asked, avoiding the brunette's gaze. 

"Are you telling me you changed your mind and suddenly you want to go to the prom with me?" Waverly asked.

"You know what," Nicole said, standing up to leave. "Forget it." Then she hurriedly walked away.


	16. Chapter 16

It was finally the day of Purgatory High's prom. Nicole had no plans to attend. Instead she accompanied Kate in her chemo session, bringing with her Ghost River University application papers for her own. 

The redhead thought that if she had to move on with her life, might as well pretend that she's a normal adult with no cancer. _Plus, it would also inspire Kate that life goes on even when you have cancer._

____

____

"I'm so proud of you that you have decided to go to college. I still have a year left before graduation," Kate chatted. It was already nighttime. Nicole and Kate were walking in the streets of their neighborhood. A couple of blocks away would be Nicole's house then another couple of blocks would be Kate's. Bicycles were rolling on their sides as they walked. 

"I thought the registrar wouldn't accept my applications. I mean, it was already so late," Nicole admitted. "And that interview was so nerve wracking. I didn't expect it to be on the spot."

"Well I'm sure you did great," Kate replied, smiling. After a moment, they had finally reached outside Nicole's house. 

Nicole sighed. "This is me... Thank you so much for wasting your time with me at the university."

"Mm-hm, thank you as well for always being there in my sessions... Have a good night, Nic." Kate leaned in and gave a quick peck on Nicole's cheek. 

"You too," Nicole said. As Kate left, Nicole suddenly caught a familiar red Jeep Wrangler parked across the street. _No, it couldn't be Waverly._

____

____

When Nicole stepped forward about to approach the vehicle, it immediately lurched forward and out of the area, leaving a confused Nicole. _Did Waverly see the whole thing with Kate? But it was prom night._

____

____

~~~

Wynonna suddenly grabbed Nicole by her jacket and pushed her on the lockers, making the loud thud sound. Students looked their way ensuing murmurs around. It was almost the end of the term before graduation. 

Nicole's eyes widened as she saw Wynonna's fuming face. It had somehow a similarity to Waverly's. "Nicole, I swear this time I'll kill you for hurting my sister."

"What did I do? Where's Waverly?" Nicole had been looking for the shorter brunette the entire day at school.

"She called in sick. Not that you care anyway. Much less than ditching her on prom night," Wynonna hissed, still clutching the collars of Nicole's jacket. 

Nicole swallowed nervously. "Ditched her? Wynonna, I wasn't intending to attend prom night..."

The taller brunette seemed to relax her grip against Nicole as she asked. "Then why did she reject Henry's offer the very last minute and dash to your house and wait??? I thought you invited her."

It then struck Nicole what she had done. After she left that last conversation in the library, she had been ignoring Waverly. Maybe Waverly was feeling sorry and confused and lost. And Nicole had not been helpful. She knew she had to tell the truth. She couldn't afford hurting Waverly again. 

"Nicole, if you really don't like my sister, please don't lead her on," Wynonna said with finality in her voice. Then she released Nicole and walked away. 

The problem was Nicole really loved Waverly. And it hurt her knowing she had hurt the brunette. She needed to tell her the truth. So she decided to pay a visit in the Homestead that night. 

When Nicole knocked, Chrissy was the one who opened the door. The redhead could clearly see how the blonde reacted. "Oh, it's you."

"Can I talk to Waverly, please?" Nicole asked. Chrissy opened the door wider and Nicole could see Waverly sitting in the living room watching a movie with Henry beside her on the couch. 

Nicole stepped in the house and her gaze met the brunette. "What are you doing here?"

"I... I'm sorry if I hurt you," Nicole managed to say. Waverly rolled her eyes and ignored the redhead. Chrissy awkwardly took a seat on a separate couch. 

"Actually, I have something important I want to tell you..." 

Waverly only lifted her eyebrows, not looking at Nicole. Henry's eyes fixated on the tv but he stole glances at the two. 

"Privately," Nicole quickly added. 

"I don't want to leave my friends. It would be rude," Waverly muttered. "If you have something to say, tell me right here right now."

Nicole's heart began thumping like crazy and her breathing as well. She knew she was going to have another panic attack. No, she couldn't just tell it in front of everybody. Not that they didn't care anyway. She could see Waverly's head leaning against Henry's shoulder. Nicole's stomach squirmed inside. 

"I... I have...," Nicole began but she chickened out. "I have to go." Then she walked out of the Homestead and pedaled away as fast as she could. If only she didn't know Waverly, she wouldn't be even having this dilemma. She hated herself for getting too attached with the brunette. She hated her cancer. She hated her heart. And before she knew it, tears fell from her eyes. 

~~~

It was finally Graduation day. Nicole's parents were excited for their daughter. She had not yet talked to her parents about her college application. She didn't want to pressure them. 

Nicole saw the entire Earp family on the bleachers, supporting Wynonna. She couldn't avoid still getting jealous when she found Henry sitting beside Waverly. 

"If you ask me, I can only say they're not dating," Wynonna began to utter beside Nicole. Maybe the taller brunette noticed the redhead staring. 

Nicole let out a small smile. "I'm actually happy for her."

"Cut the bullshit, Haught... You still have eyes on my sister and you knew she still has for you. What's stopping you?"

Nicole only shook her head. The world? Her cancer? Everything?

"I.... I love her," Nicole admitted. "But, sometimes, that's just not enough..."

Wynonna only stared at her as Nicole went on. "We're not meant to be, Wy. We're two different person who have different dreams... and I... I can't be with her for hers..."

"Is this because she used to be suicidal because I swear-"

"No, Wynonna... It's not her... Waverly deserves so much more."

~~~

The results finally came from the doctor and it was promising. Although the doctor claimed that it was all too soon to tell. There would be more tests to be done by next month to see if Nicole had gotten rid of her cancer cells. 

That moment when they were heading home, Nicole finally told her parents about her college application. She thought they would get mad and disappointed but their smiles only grew wider and they told her how proud they were that she has decided to enroll. 

Nicole was too. _Life doesn't stop when you have cancer._

____

____

That was why when Kate invited Nicole to join the cancer support group that weekend, she couldn't say no. Kate had convinced her that it was fun but she didn't have anyone her age in the group. And Chrissy was only there to volunteer during weekdays. 

"Shit, Nic," Kate stopped her by the door. "Chrissy's here... I didn't know... We can leave if you want."

Nicole saw Chrissy inside glaring at her like she committed a crime or something. "No, it's okay, Kate. I think it's time anyway."

"Are you sure?"

Nicole smiled. "Yes, I'm sure. No more hiding..."

When they proceeded further into the room, the door suddenly opened and Ward walked in with Waverly behind. Brown eyes met hazel ones. Nicole hadn't seen the brunette two weeks after graduation. But Waverly could still take the breath out from her. She had sincerely missed the brunette. 

Nicole began to feel nervous, she immediately looked away. It was now or never. She didn't think Waverly would also be there. Waverly headed towards where Chrissy was sitting, beside the food and beverages and began talking. The brunette seemed to look upset. The session was about to start when Kate then called Nicole to sit beside her in the circle. 

Nicole breathed in and out then walked towards Kate. The moment Nicole sat, Waverly's eyes didn't leave her. 

The session started with a prayer then a speech of inspiration. The speaker was a pastor who was a cancer survivor. He started talking about his inspirations in life. Then the circle began introducing each other as apparent that there seemed to be more new faces than old ones. 

It was then Kate's turn. Kate shared about what cancer she had then about her process. "I just had my last chemo last week... I wouldn't be able to survive it alone without my friend Nicole here. She helped me get through it."

All eyes were on Nicole as they clapped. It was then when she realized that it was her turn as Kate sat down. She avoided Waverly's heated gaze on her as she slowly stood. 

Nicole gave a nervous cough and her fingers played with the hem of her jacket.

"Hi, my name is Nicole... And I have colon cancer."


	17. Chapter 17

"I was first diagnosed when I was eleven years old," Nicole continued talking, noticing the thick atmosphere around the room. "I had a surgery on my colon then I had my first chemo. I know how hard and scary it was the first time so I also felt how scared Kate was. I accompanied her through it. I lost my hair during the process...," Nicole paused for a moment as eyes were on her. "On my second and my latest third chemo, I didn't lose any hair. Thank God." This earned a chuckle from the circle. "But I did have frostbite." Nicole took off her gloves and flashed her darkened fingers. 

"I... I had been very depressed these past few months... I used to get angry at the world for giving me this thing... That it was unfair to give someone a life knowing one day you won't be even living in it anymore. And it sucked big time... for there were so many things I still wanted to do in this world." There was a beat as Nicole stared shortly at Waverly. "And there were people I wanted to spend the rest of my life with... And even that, I couldn't do because I was scared to leave them... So I have been shutting myself off and away from the real world. I know that was wrong, but it was better than hurting more people along the way.

"You only live once. That's literally true to everybody... The thing is, with cancer, you only have a short life. So you try to live your life without expectations from any, in that way, you can leave the world peacefully... No damage done to others, especially those who you have grown attached. And I know it's selfish, but I think that also counts as love."

And Nicole caught Waverly holding back tears.

~~~

Waverly was already waiting outside Nicole's house when Nicole arrived. After the session, the redhead had been avoiding the brunette, talking to Kate or the Pastor just to bid time, until Waverly had to leave the place to give her father a ride home. 

When Nicole approached Waverly, Waverly abruptly stood and hissed at her. "Is that what you've been trying to tell me? Is that why you're holding back and keep on pushing me away?"

The redhead stared at her teary eyes when she answered, "Yes."

Waverly looked away as she bit her lower lip. Nicole could tell she was trying not to break down and cry. Then she glared at Nicole as she pointed a finger at her. "You are so unfair, Nicole!" 

Nicole sighed. "Wave, you don't have to-"

"I loved you, Nicole!" Waverly exclaimed, tears now rolling down her cheeks. "I still love you... I have never loved anyone the way that I have loved you. I love you so much that it hurts you keep on pushing me away for no valid reason. It's like you never wanted me-"

"I have always wanted you, Waves," Nicole cut her off, leaning closer. "God, it's always you. I love you too, so much that it hurts I couldn't do anything about it. You don't deserve to be with someone like me, Wave. I'm like a candle held upside down, melting faster than other candles."

Waverly leaned closer as she hugged the redhead. Nicole hugged her back, missing the warmth exuding from the brunette's body. The redhead cried together with the brunette. After a moment, Waverly pulled away as she cupped Nicole's face with her hands. "Please let me love you, Nicole... I don't mind if you have cancer... That's just a petty thing we can work out, okay? I don't care if you're a candle held upside down, Nic. I am willing to be burned."

"I don't want to hurt you-"

Waverly cut her off by slamming her mouth against Nicole's. The kiss wasn't long nor quick but it ignited something to the both of them. "You can't decide for me, Nic. You yourself told me that... I love you and I choose to be with you no matter what the circumstances are. I love you and everything about you... You. Even with your dorky clothes. And your nervous stutters. Even your cancer... Please... let me love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end.
> 
> Sorry if I left you hanging. I wrote this story months ago and posted on Wattpad. I decided to give this an open ending to let the readers visualize what happens next.
> 
> Thank you for reading this! :)


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